Your Choice
by YoungPineapple
Summary: Everyone knows that Steve Rogers has had a difficult time adjusting to the modern world after thawing from the ice. But even after meeting a girl, getting married, and having a kid, he leaves them with his best friend and Steve still can't seem to back down from a fight...*POST CIVIL WAR AND DAREDEVIL WARNING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T WATCHED IT*
1. Chapter 1

*First Fic Ever! I'd appreciate feedback and thoughts! I DO NOT OWN ANY MARVEL CHARACTERS*

Your Choice: Chapter 1

Steve had always had moments of regret when it came to marrying. Not that he didn't love Sarah, but he could never give her what she wanted. She always wanted the white house, two kids, and a dog. It pained Steve to know that she wanted those things, and it hurt even more to watch her sacrifice that to support him.

It was past midnight when Tony called him. His cell phone lit up the entire room when the call came in and Steve didn't have to think twice about why he was calling.

"It's intergalactic travel, Cap…." Tony's voice was low. "You know I wouldn't ask unless I had to. But we need you…"

Steve clawed at his face, "I know, Tony… I'm just worried about-"

"Sarah and James… I know, buddy…" Tony said flatly. "Listen. You don't have to do this….But if we fail, there isn't going to be anywhere where they'll be safe. I can't guarantee anything. I don't know when we'll be back, I don't know if we'll win, hell, I don't even know what's _out there_ … But I do know is that there is something big and bad threatening to tear down the little picket fence we got going on here, and I'm not about to let that happen. "

Steve closed his eyes, keeping the phone pressed to his ear. He was silent for a long moment.

"Well, Cap?" Tony quipped from the other side, "You in or out?"

"I'll pack a bag. Give me a few hours, okay?" Steve breathed.

"Roger Roger, Cap'n" the line clicked as Tony hung up, leaving Steve in the stiff silence of his living room.

He stood quickly, not even sure where to begin. Tossing his phone back onto the couch, he combed his fingers through his hair. His thoughts were flooded with the thought of Sarah and James and what he was about to do. He picked his cell phone back up and dialed up Sam. It rang several times and Steve doubted he would answer.

"Steve…. _man_ it is like 2 in the morning…." Sam yawned into the phone.

"I know but I gotta ask you something…" Steve muttered.

"Well since I ain't got nothing else to do…" Sam grumbled, "Whatcha got?"

Forty-Five minutes later, Steve had his bag packed and was hunched over a notebook at the desk. He glanced at the clock. It was 2:50 am. He still had time…. He scribbled out a letter to Sarah. He wrote and wrote and wrote until he couldn't think straight and the words on the page started not to make sense. Even then he knew it would never be enough… Once he had finished, he crammed the 4 page letter into an envelope and wrote her name along the front. Steve thought it was a good idea, even if it did come from Sam.

Steve had already spoken to Bucky about this. He'd known for weeks that he might have to leave but prayed he would never have to. He thought back to their conversation they had out in the snow in front of the apartment.

"Steve, don't say stuff like that-"Bucky growled, not even looking at him. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and huffed out a foggy breathe in the February air. "I'm _not_ gonna do that…."

"Bucky, she's going to need someone…. Tony said she'd be taken care of and that's not the part that I'm worried about….she's gonna need someone…." Steve let his head hang. "I don't think I'm coming back this time, Buck…"

Bucky shook his head, "No. You're gonna be fine. She's gonna be fine. Drop it…." Bucky looked over at his best friend, who was staring at the sidewalk between his feet.

"James is going to need a dad, Buck…" Steve muttered. Bucky heaved a breath and turned away from Steve, feeling the plates in his metal arm shutter under the layers of sleeves. "Steve, hes _GOT_ a dad. Whatever Hydra put inside me….it's still there. You know that from what happened with Zola…You can't expect me to-"

"Buck, I know you'd be a great father-"

" _SHUTTUP_!" Bucky lashed out and struck a dumpster with his metal arm, leaving a hole in its side. Steve never flinched and never looked at Bucky, who was now steaming with frustration.

"Just think about it, would you?" Steve asked gently before looking at his friend. "You'd be better to her than I could ever be…." And with that, Steve turned and stepped inside the apartment complex.

Steve was still sitting at the desk with the letter in his hands. He knew deep inside that he had to go. And even if he did make it back, he would leave Sarah and James alone. He figured he'd turned too many good people's worlds upside down….


	2. Chapter 2

Your Choice: Chapter 2

He knew that no matter what he did, he would hurt Sarah. He sat anxiously on the couch with the envelope held loosely between his fingers, not sure what he should do next. He wasn't about to wake her up and tell her. He knew that would make it harder to leave. She was going to hate him when the sun came up. That was the only thing he was sure of…

Down the hall, he could make out a small, stifling cry. James was only about a month old now and couldn't seem to sleep all night. Steve pushed himself off the couch and padded down the hall to James' nursey. He cracked the door slightly and peeked inside. The nightlight let him see his son thrashing around in the crib. Steve was at his side before another thought passed. He slipped his hands under him and picked him up. He thought for a moment how Sarah taught his to hold him.

James stopped crying almost immediately. Steve paced back and forth in the nursey, not forgetting to bounce. He hummed a made up song under his breath. This will be the last time you hold him, Steve told himself. He pushed the ugly thought away and tried to remember the day he was born.

Sarah was in labor for 12 hours. Steve knew he paced the living room a hundred times before the doctor came to get him. He was a master at handling stress, but not this kind. The next thing he knew, he was being forced into Sarah's room. She was screaming out and Steve's instinct was to turn around and leave. But he didn't. A nurse steered him with her hands on his shoulders to the bedside where he could see her. He remembered how pale she was and how her eyes were filled with distress.

" _S-stevee_ …" she gasped his name. He took her hand and beamed down at her. "Hey baby…you're doing great! You remember the way they taught you to breathe in class?" She clenched her jaw and gave him a tight nob.

"Good. Alright," he sank to his knees," You need to breathe like that now, okay?" She was digging her fingernails into the side of his hand but he didn't care. The doctor stood at the end of the bed, "Alright, Sarah when I say push, you push, okay?" " _O-okaayy_ ," she wheezed.

"I see his head!"

"Push, Sarah, _push_!"

"Steve? Was he crying again?" Steve was ushered back into the present when he saw Sarah standing at the doorway.

Steve was still bouncing James. "Um…yeah he was….I got him though…" He whispered. She nodded and clawed a piece of hair away from her face and tugged at the oversized t-shirt she was wearing.

"Are you okay? It's super late…" she yawned. "I can get him if you want to go to bed…"

Steve gave her a small smile, "Its okay. I got him." She shrugged her shoulders and started to walk away. "Hey," Steve couldn't stop himself. Sarah turned to look at him.

"I love you…" Steve muttered. She smirked and cocked her head, "I love you too…" she replied before trudging back to bed. Steve cradled his son in his arms and sadness swirl in his gut. Tears sprung to his eyes and he pressed a quick kiss to James' forehead before laying him back down in the crib. Steve rubbed his face with both hands, feeling himself getting emotional. What was he _doing?..._ He stepped out of the nursey, being sure to close the door behind himself. He caught sight of his bag lying by the front door. His feet felt like lead as he forced himself to walk through the living room. The door was heavier than he remembered as he opened it. Tony said he couldn't guarantee anything, not even success. He stepped out and slung his bag over his shoulder. There weren't any guarantees, but Steve knew that he could guarantee one thing. He was not going to back down from this fight.


	3. Chapter 3

Your Choice: Chapter 3

Bucky was wide awake all night. After having a nightmare earlier that evening, he couldn't get back to sleep. He was staring a hole in the ceiling above him. His poor pillow had been mutilated by his metal arm when he was trying to get comfortable. Everything in his bed was too soft. The apartment was too big, there was too much food in the fridge, and it was always too loud outside. Bucky never knew what to do with himself.

Ever since they met, Sarah had always kept Bucky supplied in books. She had a massive library at her apartment when she and Steve first started to date. Bucky let the corner of his mouth flick up in a smile when he thought about meeting her. He remembered Steve nearly forcing him through her the doorway of her home. Every Thursday night was their date night, which Bucky never understood why. And for some reason, Steve wasn't leaving their apartment without him because Bucky 'just had to meet her.'

Bucky honestly expected her to be just another miss 3-dates. When they stepped into the apartment, she stood at the kitchen counter dicing some tomatoes for their dinner.

"Hey guys!" she beamed up at them as she wiped her hands on a towel. Bucky paused for a moment to take her in. Short, petite, blonde with freckles. She smiled warmly at him, "I'm guessing you're Bucky?"

Bucky gave her a tight nod and was caught off-guard when she stepped up and extended her hand. "Sarah Reed. But you can just call me Sarah, okay?"

He shook her hand gently and forced a small smile. He couldn't quite remember what she had cooked. He just remembered the after- dinner conversation the three of them had sitting around the coffee table.

"So Bucky, Steve tells me you like to read?" Sarah asked him suddenly. Bucky looked up at her without having an answer ready. He simply nodded again. She smiled and stood up, walking down the hall.

"Follow me," she called over her shoulder. Bucky shot Steve a quizzical look which Steve answered by shrugging his shoulders. Bucky followed her. She paused at the first door on the left and placed her hand on the doorknob. When Bucky was only a few steps away, she leaned in and pushed the door open.

Bucky nearly had to pick his jaw off the floor as he followed her inside the room. Books lined the wall from the floor to the ceiling. 12 cases of them at least. Sarah stepped around him and walked directly to the shelves.

"History here. American classics here. Science fiction here…." She placed her hand on a new shelve with every genre. She spun on her heels to look at him, "You can come in here anytime you want, okay? My door is always open to a fellow book worm." She winked at him and slipped out of the room, leaving him with more books than he could ever read.

Bucky was still lying in bed in his apartment in Brooklyn. He remembered what Steve had asked him to do if he ever had to leave. After much internal debate he decided to go see them. He tossed the sheets back and swung his feet around on the floor. He didn't plan on being James' father of taking care of Sarah, but he could at least go check on them.


	4. Chapter 4

Your Choice: Chapter 4

Steve clutched his bag as he dashed across the tarmac to the quinjet. Tony and Natasha stood at the ramp, ready to leave.

"About time, Rogers!" Nat called at the jet engines roared to life. "I didn't think you'd take so long…"

Steve didn't have anything to say to either of them as he stepped aboard the jet. Bruce, Thor, and Clint were already in their seats and buckled in.

"Cap'n," Clint nodded at Steve. Steve always liked Clint. They probably had more in common now than they ever have before. Bruce smiled at him and went back to staring at the floor between his feet.

"Ah Captain!" Thor greeted him. "Tell me, how does Lady Sarah fair? I'll bet James will be a warrior yet!"

Steve remained quiet. He tossed his bag into an overhead compartment and took a seat next to Clint. Tony and Natasha were the last to board. Tony slipped coolly into the pilots' seat, "Alright, Friday. Give everyone a rundown of what we're dealing with…" The familiar voice of Tony's computer assistant came over the intercom.

"You're the boss…. As many of you have heard, all of the infinity stones have been discovered over time. All of which have now fallen into the hands of Thanos…" She continued to speak but Steve tuned her out. This was nothing he hasn't already heard before.

"We're headed to base at Texas…" Clint muttered to Steve. Steve was glad he wasn't the only on not listening to Friday. "This is just a quick flight to get suited up…. How are you doing with this?"

Steve looked Barton in the eye and managed a nod," I don't know if I made the right choice…" Barton smiled painfully and looked out the window. The sun was breaking over the horizon and had cast an orange glow over the sky. He glanced back to Steve with guilt swimming in his eyes, "That makes two of us…"

The sun was just starting to rise when Bucky left his apartment to go check on Sarah and James. Their home was a mere 7 minutes away but the traffic made it seem longer. He always parked his motorcycle in the middle of two parking spaces as a cushion of protection. Nobody ever questioned it. When he arrived, he parked no differently. Steve and Sarah's apartment was on the 4th floor. Terrible if you're carrying groceries inside, Bucky thought to himself as he pushed the elevator button. Steve had given him the spare key and Sarah had given him permission to come in anytime.

He just knew that when he stepped inside, he'd find Steve in the floor playing with James and see Sarah in the kitchen cooking. He honestly wished it. However, when he opened the door, he didn't see what he had hoped to.

Instead, he saw a small figure lying on the couch. He walked inside and shut the door. Sarah had curled her knees to her chest and laid on the couch with her back to him. She was whimpering into a pillow. Bucky took in a tight breath and held it for a moment. Steve had left her. It was a painful sight, seeing her balled up so tightly. He paced to the couch and stood behind her. "Sarah…." He muttered.

She turned ever so slightly so that Bucky could see her face. Her eyes were nearly swollen shut from crying. The pillow she clutched was soaked with snot and tears. She was holding something to her chest. Bucky wondered to himself how long she had been crying…. Her eyes were bloodshot and face pale. She was sick with grief.

Bucky tried to soften his expression the best he could, "What happened?"

She coughed and wiped her nose with her own sleeve. "H-He sent you… didn't he? He sent you…to replace him…" she sputtered. Bucky now could see what she was holding behind the pillow. A letter. _Oh no_ , Bucky thought to himself. He sank down to his knees and she cut him daggers.

"What did he say?" Bucky asked as gently as possible. Her gaze filled with heat as she looked at him. Without a word, she handed him the crumpled letter and rolled back to how he found her. Bucky sat down on the floor, their backs now to one another. He opened the letter and was shocked by how long it was. He set into reading:

Dear Sarah,

I'm leaving. I know that I am breaking every promise that we ever made and I know how much you are going to despise me for it. All I can ever tell you is that I am so sorry. And I know that will never be enough. You deserve so much more than what I can give you…. You and Bucky always teased me about not being able to back down from a fight, but this one I really can't.

No words can describe how much I don't want to leave but I won't be able to live with myself if I don't go. I don't expect you to understand and I don't even expect you to love me after this. If I do make it back somehow, I won't be stupid enough to come looking for you. I want you to find somebody, Sarah… I want you to find someone who can give you what you need and be a great father to James. That's why I want you to consider Bucky. He is the only man I trust with you and my son and I know he would do right by you both. Please never change….

I love you,

Steve

After Bucky had finished off the letter, he realized what took up so many pages. The rest of the envelope was stuff with divorce papers and Steve had already signed on all the dotted lines. To make it final, Sarah just needed to put her signature next to his…..


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry the chapters have been so short! I'll try to give you guys a lil more in the future! Plus if you like some domestic Bucky, you'll loovvveee this!

Your Choice: Chapter 5

Bucky sat against the couch, holding the crumpled letter in his hands. He could feel the heat of Sarah on his back. What had Steve done…? He cursed under his breath and slung the letter away. Why would Steve do this? Bucky was an _assassin,_ not a babysitter or boyfriend material. He felt thrown under the bus. Anger swirled in his gut. What was he supposed to do now….? How was the _winter soldier_ supposed to take care of someone when he could even take care of _himself_?

A small cry came from down the hallway. Bucky froze, feeling shame consume him. He slowly stood to his feet. James continued to cry. Bucky sighed and threw his gaze down to Sarah who had finally cried herself to sleep. Bucky clawed at his face with his flesh hand as he walked away from her and out of the living room to see about James.

The quinjet landed in Texas less than 2 hours after they boarded. Steve had an aching feeling in his gut as the jet slowed down on the landing strip. _It's still not too late to go home_ , he told himself. But he knew it was. Sarah had probably gotten his letter by now. If he were to turn back, she probably wouldn't let him inside the threshold of the apartment door. Steve snapped out of his thoughts as Clint handed him his bag. Steve nodded a thanks. "Try not to think too much about it…." Clint told him under his breath. "We'll both be home before we know it." Steve knew that was his attempt at trying to cheer him up. He didn't have the heart to tell Barton that there wasn't any point in trying…

The jet hatch opened and everyone began to step onto the tarmac. The heat was already sweltering considering it early in the morning. Tony clapped his hand down on Steve's shoulder, "Glad you came along, Cap…" and gave him a reassuring smile. Steve couldn't return it. Tony patted his back and pushed his sunglasses back into place, "Lets hit it!" Stark basically strutted away.  
Tony strode off the ramp of the jet and followed the rest of the Avengers into the building across the landing strip. Steve guessed that's where they would be debriefed and suited up. He hadn't seen his shield in years and wandered whether or not they would give it back. He wanted to call Sarah desperately but part of him knew it wasn't a good idea. He slipped his hand into his back pocket to check his phone. No calls. No texts. Not even from Bucky or Sam. He couldn't say he wasn't disappointed but he also wasn't surprised.

Bucky found himself standing over James' crib with his fingers around the bars. He had no clue what he was supposed to do…. James was screaming and reaching out for Bucky. Reluctantly, Bucky Pushed his hair back under his hat, picked him up and propped him up against his shoulder. He tried to remember what Sarah had taught him about holding babies. James calmed some but still continued to cry. Part of Bucky wanted to panic with the painful wailing right in his ear. Support his head? No. He just woke up so he couldn't possibly be tired and he didn't smell. After ruling out several possible options, Bucky decided he probably hasn't eaten in hours.

Bucky walked gently with both his arms cradling James to his chest. Maybe Sarah had him a bottle in the fridge or something? Bucky felt ridiculous creeping down the hall the way he was. Sarah was fast asleep on the couch and he was desperately trying to get James to be quiet. How did Steve _do this_? James let out a painful scream and Sarah jolted off the couch. She didn't look at Bucky as she circled around the couch, wiping her face with the bottom of her t-shirt. She tore down her hair from the hair band and put it back up in a loose ponytail. She was a professional at being on her toes. Bucky couldn't help but notice how nice she looked despite the fact that she had been crying for the past few hours.

"I-I'm sorry," Bucky muttered, adjusting the way he was holding James. "I was going to give him a bottle or something-"Sarah stepped up to him and took James from his arms, shaking her head.

"I can take him," Sarah said in a low tone. "Thank you, though…" She cradled James in one arm while she grabbed a cloth of some kind off the arm of the couch. Bucky stood there as she wrapped the piece of material over her shoulder and put James inside. Her face was still red from crying… Before he could think, he caught Sarah's glare on him.

"He doesn't take a bottle yet, Buck…I got to feed him if you don't mind…" she muttered. Bucky straightened himself, trying to hide the fact that his face was now molten. He turned his back and went to the kitchen. He pulled the fridge door open, knowing that Sarah wouldn't care. He hadn't eaten since the night before. He hoped that maybe they had those

"He didn't tell me… just so you know…" he muttered as he checked out the contents inside. She was quiet for a long time before she answered.

"I think I knew it was coming… Something inside of me told me that he would be gone…." She said. Her voice was broken. Bucky combed his hair back and shut the fridge door," You couldn't stop him….No one could…You know just as well as I do that once he gets an idea into his head, he won't back down."

"I know… But I just wish somehow that he would have chosen me m-maybe…" she was getting upset again. He turned back to look at her just in time to see her pulling her shirt back into place and unclip the sling.

"I'll be right back," she whispered hoarsely. She stood up and gently padded down the hall with James fast asleep in her arms. Bucky glanced at the clock as he made his way to the couch. It was only 8:43 am? He sat and waited on Sarah to come back, probably ready to give him a speech. He wasn't looking forward to it….

A long time passed and Sarah still hasn't come back out of the nursey. He looked at the clock again. 9:15 am…. He pushed himself up from his seat and made his way down the hall. When he came to the door, he pushed it open slightly to see if she was alright. He saw her sitting cross-legged on the floor beside James' crib with her face in her hands, crying. He wasn't sure what to do… Without too much thought, he pushed the door open wider. Sarah looked up at him, embarrassed and tried to hide her face.

"I-I'm sorry… I just needed a minute…" she stammered. Bucky lowered himself down onto the floor beside her, being careful not to wake James. He looked at her," I don't want to replace him…"

"What?" she asked, wiping her soaked face. "I don't want to replace Steve," he clarified in a low tone. "I never wanted to…."

She nodded and licked her lips, about to speak. But her words were replaced with a choked sob and tears flooded her eyes again. Bucky reached over and put his flesh arm around her shoulder. He wasn't good at this sort of thing. He was never one to cry, that was more of Steve's department. Bucky couldn't think of a time where he saw a woman cry as hard as Sarah was now. He made a girl cry at the dance once before the war… he smiled at the distant memory.

His memories were still foggy but he could barely remember the time he got Steve and himself a pair of doe-eyed girls to go to the dance with. He remembered how long it took to convince his date to bring her friend for Steve. He told her about his blonde hair and blue eyes and how he'd pick a fight and was the single toughest guy he knew. He didn't mention that he'd only win the fight when Bucky stepped in. She probably had a picture in her head of how he looked. However, Bucky had to call of the date when Steve got sick. Was her name Mary? Bucky smiled to himself, being proud he could remember.

He focused back on the situation at hand with Sarah crying. She wasn't another doe-eyed girl from before the war. She was his friend. He adjusted his arm around her and pulled her close so that her head could rest on his shoulder. She resisted but gave in and put her weight on him. _She's been there for you when you needed it_ , Bucky thought to himself. _Now it's your turn._


	6. Chapter 6

Your Choice: Chapter 6

It had been 3 days since Steve left. Sarah, Sam or Bucky hadn't heard from him at all. Sarah was still beside herself but she thought she was doing a good job at hiding it. Sam stopped by earlier that day to check on them while Bucky ran home to get a bag of clothes…. Just in case. When Bucky got back, Sarah and Sam were sitting in the living room. Sarah had her knees curled to her chest on the couch with Sam sprawled out on her right side in the armchair. Sam had stopped at some fast food joint and gotten everyone some lunch. Sarah had yet to touch hers.

"Hey man," Sam beamed up at him. Bucky smiled at his friend and shot Sarah a concerned look.

"You okay?" Bucky asked her. She barely glanced at him and managed a nod. She was trying to keep herself composed in front of them both. Bucky sat himself in the other armchair, opposite from Sam. Sam leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. He took a sip of his drink before he spoke.

"Aight, we got a lot to discuss here," he said to Bucky. "We got a damsel in distress and she is gonna need help whether she wants to admit it or not." Sam threw a glance at Sarah, who was looking at the floor. James began to cry from down the hall. She jumped up, "Be right back…" and started towards the nursey. She seemed glad to get away for a moment. Bucky and Sam looked at each other in unison.

"She's not okay…" Sam whispered quickly. "She's not okay _at all_ , man….Did you see those dark circles under her eyes?"

Bucky nodded in agreement, "Have you heard from him?" Sam shook his head, "Not even a peep…"

"Did you read the letter?" Bucky almost blurted. Sam shot him a quizzical look. Bucky glanced to see is Sarah was coming back yet. He stood up to see where he had tossed the letter the other day. After a moment of searching, he found it kicked under the dining room table and handed it right to Sam. He read it in moments and looked up at Bucky when he finished.

"Dude, this is straight cold…" he slipped the letter back to Bucky. Bucky stuffed it under his seat to keep Sarah from finding it. He knew she would only read it over and over. "She isn't going to be able to take care of James by herself…. I mean she could, but she'd lose it…" Sam muttered, glancing over his shoulder.

"You're going to stay with her right?" Sam continued. Bucky wasn't paying attention, "What?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at Bucky, "Steve wanted you to stay with her… You gonna do it?"

Bucky chewed on his lip as he thought. He didn't see the need in staying here with her every second of every day. "I can stop by every couple days-"Bucky offered after a few moments but his sentence was cut short by Sam shaking his head.

By that time, Sarah was making her way back into the living room. She was carrying herself as if she had a weight on her back. She trudged around the end of the couch and seated herself once more, "S-sorry…James just needed a-a change…"

Sam pushed the lunch bag he bought her across the coffee table where she could reach it, "You hungry?" he asked her. She shook her head, "No but thank you though…" Sam threw _an I-told-you-so_ look over to Bucky, who replied with an eye roll. "I'm gonna stay with you…" Bucky said under his breath to Sarah. Sarah looked at him with wide eyes, "What? Why?" After her reply, Sam stood up and slipped on his baseball cap. He reached down and moved her food even closer to her as he put on his sunglasses.

"Only until you prove that you don't need him to…" Sam said gently and gave her a warm smile. He headed towards the door, "I'm gonna be calling to check in on you, okay? Just to see how you're doing…" he looked down his sunglasses at her. She faked a small smile and nodded.

"Catcha later, man," Sam waved at Bucky before stepping out of the door. Bucky waved and turned back to Sarah as the door closed. He could tell she wasn't happy.

"I don't need you to babysit me…" she quipped.

"It's not babysitting….I'm just gonna keep an eye on you…" Bucky muttered as he stood from the armchair to brag his bag by the door.

"What do you think I'll do?" She asked with a hint of venom. She was trying to pick a fight and he knew it. Bucky rummaged through his bag, looking for something," I don't know. That's the point of me staying with you…. "Bucky pulled out some notebooks from his backpack. He'd been writing down everything he could possibly remember in them. He didn't want to forget a thing so he wanted to write down the memory of the girls at the dance from the other morning.

He pulled a pencil from his pocket and took his seat in the armchair, trying not to give Sarah a reason to fight with him. "I think I'm going to go lay down…" she said quietly standing. Bucky nodded and watched her go down the hall to the master bedroom. He was glad she didn't yell at him and that maybe she would get some rest.

Steve did in fact get his shield back. Agent Coulson was the one to return it to him.

"I thinks its past time you got this back…" Coulson said, offering it to Steve. It was the first thing that had made Steve smile all day. The Avengers were debriefed shortly after that and given a plan of action once they reached their destination on the other side of the galaxy.

"Once you leave the atmosphere, each of you are to get in your pods and hyper-sleep will kick in. Your craft won't reach the jump point for about 4 years. We need you guys all rested up…" Steve replayed Agent Hill's speech in the back of his mind. After they reached the jump point, they would be woken from hyper-sleep and have to jump through a worm hole…. The whole idea still sounded so crazy to him. But at this point, he keeps telling himself he shouldn't be surprised by anything.

Today was launch day. Tony told him that he could record and send Sarah and James videos if he wanted…. That he would defiantly do before they went into hyper-sleep. Now, Steve found himself strapped into a seat in the shuttle, looking straight out of the front at the sky. Tony was strapped into the seat to his right. Everyone was ready to go…. The entire voyage would be controlled by the control center. If something were to happen, they could turn shuttle controls over to Tony. As a last resort of course. Stark had a basic understanding of the controls but it still made Steve uneasy. Everyone was talking to each other over the headsets. Steve didn't listen much but he did catch that he and Barton were the only ones not talking.

"I don't like this tight space…" Bruce muttered. Apparently Natasha and Tony had a bet going to see how long it would take for Thor to fall asleep when they launched. Thor didn't have to come with them. He could have just them there but he insisted on 'experiencing a midgaurdian spacecraft ride.'

When Steve felt the engines ignite, he swallowed hard and forced his eyes shut.

"Last chance to take a piss!" Tony screamed over the headset.

"This is exciting!" Thor exclaimed.

" _Launch in 10…..9…8…7…6…5…4….3…2…1-"_

The shuttle was forced off the ground and into the air in an explosion.

"Thanks Stark, "Barton yelled from behind Steve. "Now I wish I peed…."

Steve snorted a small laugh.

"Plus 10 points for you, Clint," Tony quipped. "You made Cap giggle!" Steve suppressed a smile, "Shut up, Stark…"

Steve was excited to send his video to Sarah once they were past the atmosphere. Maybe she would even reply in time for him to see her before he went under….


	7. Chapter 7

Your Choice: Chapter 7

Two weeks had passed since Steve left. Sarah seemed to be doing better but Bucky couldn't be sure. He was still staying with her, spending every night on the couch. He brought his pillow from home and Sarah supplied him with several blankets. She knew how cold he always got at night.

Every morning, Bucky would wake up early. He always folded up his makeshift bed and set the blankets to the side. He went on a jog daily, just to keep in shape somewhat. Today was no different. He never kept up with how far he ran. He just kept going until he felt he'd done enough. He had gone his limit for the day and turned around to go back to Sarah's apartment. She usually did well by herself while he worked out.

When he stepped inside, Sarah was in the kitchen. She was cooking…. Bucky was caught off guard. She stood up straight in front of the stove, with James in his carrier. She rocked him with her foot. She was always a master at multitasking.  
"Hey," She said with a half-smile as she stirred the contents of the pan. Bucky looked her over. Her messy blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail as usual. She was wearing a t-shirt and jogging pants. But her face….her face was brighter. Bucky gave her a small grin, "Good to see you're up…" he muttered as he peeled off his hoodie. She shrugged and turned the eye of the stove off.

"Have a nice run?" she asked quietly as she squatted down to get James out of his carrier. Once he stood across from her in just a tight t-shirt, Bucky rolled his shoulders and flexed his metal arm. "It was fine," he muttered. Sarah pretended not to have seen what he just did…. She bounced James in her arms, "That's good. I'm making eggs if you want some…"

Bucky slung his bag over his shoulder and headed down the hall with the intentions of getting a shower. "Don't worry about me," he said quickly, "I'll eat something later…"

He opened the bathroom door and lumbered inside. Tossing his bag to the side, he undressed and pulled his shaggy hair back in a tie. If he didn't, his hair would get caught in his metal arm. He always hated that. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he scratched at the stubble on his chin and made a mental note to shave. He stepped in the shower and turned the handle to start that water.

A gargling sound came from the bowels of the wall. Instead of being scolding hot as usual, Bucky was shot with bone chilling, ice water. He gasped and jumped back painfully. Memories imprinted into his mind flooded forth. He couldn't stop thinking of the cryo-freezer. He couldn't escape the stream of artic water and panic set in. He clawed at the wall desperately trying to find the faucet but his mind was swimming with painful horrors of Hydra. He was taking short, rapid breaths, which he knew she should stop but he couldn't.

" _Asset. Can you hear me?"_ Bucky remembers the feeling of ice in his veins all too well.

" _Ready to comply…"_ He sank to his knees with the stream of water still beating down on him.

" _Wipe him. We start with a clean slate."_ He could feel himself being forced back inside the cryofreeze. He couldn't stop himself from screaming out.

" _Your work has been a gift to mankind…."_ Bucky remembered looking down to see himself coated in blood. He was dripping in it. He felt himself slipping away to the dark corners of his mind…. The water was suddenly turned off. Everything felt icy and he felt his fingers and toes going numb.

"BUCKY," a familiar voice screamed out but he felt so distant. He was curled in the bottom of the shower, shaking uncontrollably and gasping. Sarah had ripped the curtain back after she heard him scream. He was starting to regain control but the shaking wouldn't stop. The cold had pierced him to the bone….

"Bucky! What happened?! Are you hurt?" Sarah was already wrapping him in towels. He couldn't answer her questions. She was asking too many.

"S-S-Saraahh," his voice was wavering. He was gasping for air but he couldn't get a deep breath. She had somehow worked her way under his shoulder, "I got you, okay? Can you stand up? Stand up, Buck…" Bucky stood with her help. With small steps and some coaching, she led him to the bedroom. He clung to the towels she had wrapped him it. He didn't understand….just minutes ago he was calm and composed. Everything Hydra had done to him was still so raw in his mind… still so fresh…

"Sit here, I'm gonna grab you some clothes," She said putting her hands on his shoulders and forcing him to sit on the edge of the bed. She was so warm he didn't want her to leave him…She quickly made her way inside the closet. Bucky clenched his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. Before Sarah came back, he somehow crawled into the bed and made his way under the covers. He didn't care what she would say and he didn't care whose bed this was and he didn't care about the fact that that he was soaking wet and needed some clothes. He balled himself tightly in the sheets and squeezed his eyes shut hard.

"Buck… You want to put these on?" Sarah asked gently. She never argued over him being under the covers. Bucky forced his eyes open to see her offering him a pair of jogging pants and a long sleeve shirt. He shook his head tightly, not wanting to move an inch from the cocoon he had just made. She nodded, "I'm going to leave these here, okay? I'll just be in the living room if you need me… " She turned on her heels to leave the room but Bucky stopped her.

"S-Sarah…" he choked out. She looked at him from the doorway. "C-C'mere…" he hissed. He was so cold…. Everything inside him ached.

She walked back to where she was moments before. Bucky worked his metal arm free of the blankets and reached out for her, "C'mere…" he wheezed again. His metal fingers twitched as he held his hand out. Sarah took it and he pulled her gently into the bed. She was reluctant at first and eyed him warily. He was shaking so hard he didn't care what she thought. All he was thinking about was warmth. He pulled her close and wrapped his metal arm around her, trapping her in the bed with him.

"Bucky, no I don't want-"she tried to get up but caught his eyes. "S-sarah… _p-please_ …" Bucky wasn't one to beg and she knew this well. But he was trembling so painfully….

"Fine…" she huffed. She crawled under the covers and before she could think, Bucky began to wrap himself around her like a vine. She didn't like this…. at all. "Bucky, don't do tha- okay never mind…" she tried to keep him from intertwining his legs in hers but he ignored her. His skin trembled like a horse's. She had never seen him like this... Steve has had his share of breakdowns but he would never let her touch him. And here she was, with Bucky begging to spoon her for warmth as he tries to recompose himself. He wouldn't even leave the bed long enough to get dressed.

She let her arms rest on his bare shoulders. He nuzzled his face in the nape of her neck, which she thought was a little too much. His wet hair was soaking into her shirt but she wasn't about to say anything. They were pressed so close together, Sarah wondered how he could even breathe. He didn't say another word for a long time. After what seemed like forever and his steady breathing, Sarah determined that he was asleep. She moved a piece of wet hair from his face and she knew that he would be just fine.


	8. Chapter 8: A Turn of the Tide

Your Choice: Chapter 8

Steve hadn't felt his stomach knot up like it was since he crashed the plane into the artic over 70 years ago. He was white knuckling his seat with his eyes squeezed shut. Everything was shaking and incredibly loud. How did the astronauts _do_ this? He tried to focus on a memory. A pleasant thought. His mind automatically drifted to Sarah. He pictured her face in his mind. Her intelligent, hazel eyes. Her face covered in freckles. He always loved that.

"Can I join you?" he remembers asking her nervously back at the small café in Brooklyn. She looked up from the enormous book she held in her hands and nodded. "I'm Steve…" he held out his hand. "I'm Sarah…" she replied with a small smile and shook his hand firmly. He sat in the booth across from her and looked closely at the book she was reading. _American Colonial History_ … He pointed at the book, "I'll bet that's a nice read, huh?" She shut it slowly and pushed a piece of hair back into her ponytail. "Oh yeah. If you ever need something to put you to sleep," she tapped on the cover of the book," This is the best…" They both laughed lightly. "I'm only reading it to review for my class," she commented. Steve sat forward, "So you're in college?" She must have been younger than he thought…. "I guess you could say that…" she said with a grin, "I'm the professor." Steve remembered how red his face got… he smiled to himself. Slowly, he drifted back to the present. Everyone was silent until the blue atmosphere faded away into the darkness of space. The rocket released the shuttle with a great thrust and left them floating freely.

"We did it!" Tony chuckled. "We're real astronaut's now, kiddos." Steve didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to look out before them and see how far away from home he was. He forced his eyes open anyway and saw just what he expected to. Darkness.

" _On your left, sucka!"_ Sam screamed as he lapped Bucky for the first time ever. Bucky suppressed a smile. He didn't have the heart to tell Sam he wasn't even trying. Even if he did, Sam would never believe him. Sam kept sprinting, whooping for joy between labored breaths. He threw a punch into the air, " _HELL YEAH! FINALLY!"_ He wasn't showing any signs of stopping so Bucky let him go another lap without following him. Steve, Sam, and Bucky always ran around the Washington Monument. Steve and Bucky would make a point to pass Sam as fast as possible. Multiple times, of course. Steve would always say, " _On your left_ " while Bucky would say " _On your right_." Sam's reaction was always priceless. Sometimes he would yell profanities, other times he'd try to catch up and saying how it wasn't fair.

Bucky wasn't up for a race today. He let himself slow down into a walk. He trudged a few steps until he finally came to a complete stop. He combed a piece of loose hair back into the small ponytail he had and watched Sam turn the corner at the opposite side of the monument. He put his hands on his hips and tried to catch his breath. Something was off with him ever since the previous night. He had another mental meltdown…. And all in front of Sarah. Turns out the pipes in the shower busted. That explained all the cold water. It couldn't be helped….He wiped his face with the bottom of his shirt.

Bucky heard footsteps coming up behind him. Sam couldn't have possibly ran a lap that quick, could he? He glanced over his shoulder.

" _On your left!"_ A little blonde blur flashed past him and Bucky had to step back to avoid being ran over. It was Sarah. Sam began to laugh from the other side of the Monument. Bucky glanced at him to see his friend doubled over with his hands on his knees, pointing at Sarah, who just ran by.

" _YOU GO! … YOU GO GIRL!"_ Sam wheezed out before collapsing and sprawling out on the ground.

Bucky took off to catch her. It didn't take much effort. He kept his pace until he was running beside her. She glanced at him, trying to hide her pleased expression, "I've always wanted to say that…" Bucky scoffed a laugh, "Yeah…you and Sam both..." He looked over his shoulder at Sam. He was still lying on the ground trying to breathe. Bucky looked back to Sarah.

She was trying to maintain a steady pace and breathing, "What?" she quipped. Bucky looked forward with a smirk, "Nothing," he said before he sped up and left her behind.

"Oh no! Not today!" she called from behind him, breaking into a sprint. Bucky was shocked by how fast she was. They turned the corner of the monument, staying neck and neck. "You're pretty fast, "Bucky admitted. He didn't have to put in as much effort as she did. Her chest was heaving, "When you run with Captain America every morning….you get fast…" she choked out. She impressed him. They turned the next corner. Bucky could see Sam standing at the other end.

" _C'mon lil bit!"_ he cheered Sarah on. " _Whoop that papaws genetically enhanced ass!"_ Bucky threw her a wicked smile with every intention of winning. She glanced at him with eyebrows burrowed.

They were within 300 feet of Sam.

"Hey Sarah-"Bucky wheezed. "What," she replied quickly.

"Don't be too upset when you lose…" he said between breaths.

"Worry about yourself, Barnes!" In one last effort, she ran as hard as she possibly could. Bucky couldn't catch her once she'd taken off. She slapped Sam's extended hand once she past him merely _milliseconds_ before Bucky did. She kept going until she ran into the grass off the edge on the sidewalk. She collapsed where she stood, laughing. Sam was double over again, hysterical. Bucky laid in the grass next to her.

"Not bad…" he muttered. "You're not too bad yourself," she breathed, rolling her head to the side to look at him. Sam walked up and stood at their feet. "I'll be damned…" He chuckled. "Lil Bit, here has got it!"

Bucky nodded in agreement and wiped his face with his shirt again, still in disbelief she had beaten him. They laid there, catching their breath. Bucky glanced over at Sarah, who'd closed her eyes. She wore a blissful smile, relishing her small victory. Warmth bloomed inside Bucky. He knew then and there that she would be just fine too.


	9. Chapter 9

Your Choice: Chapter 9

Once in space, the Avengers floated inside the shuttle, preparing to go into hypersleep. Steve clung to the inside of his bunk, not being a big fan of not having gravity. Tony was setting up the audio and video for everyone to record if they wanted. He told Steve he could go first.

Tony floated by, grabbing on to the edge of Steve's bunk, "All set, big guy… All you have to do if hit the green button and start talking."

Steve nodded, "Thank you…" He had a list of things a mile long he wanted to say. He had his apology speech prepared. Maybe, _just maybe_ , she could forgive him somehow.

He grappled his way across the room where they could strap themselves into a chair. There was a small screen and a camera built into the wall. Steve buckled himself down and felt a hand on his shoulder, "If it means anything," Tony muttered, "I think you did the right thing…." Steve faked a smile. It didn't mean anything to him. Tony's opinions always conflicted with his own. He thought what he was doing was wrong, so naturally Tony disagreed. Tony floated hand over hand away. Steve was almost angry with him. Tony was the one to convince him to leave in the first place….

Natasha floated by, "Going to send her something?" she asked. Steve nodded, "I'm pretty sure she'll hate me…" Nat give him a small smile, "She won't hate you, Rogers. She's just hurt. There's a difference…" she grappled away, leaving him with a small bit of wisdom.

Steve leaned forward with the intention of recording. He paused. What would he even _say?_ Should he talk to Sarah? Should he send Sam and Bucky a message too? He pressed the green button under the screen and looked into the camera. He could see himself on the screen…. He looked helpless. He pushed his hair back into place and rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't even know where to start. He licked his lips, trying to speak but no words came. He threaded his fingers together and looked to his right. The small red light was blinking, telling Steve that his silence was being streamed. He focused back onto the camera.

"Sarah…." He muttered. "Where do I even start?"

Bucky stepped out of the bathroom and into the hallway. He had geared up quietly so he wouldn't wake anyone. He had an assignment from the CIA. Just some covert operations in Chile or something like that. He tugged at the black cargo pants and adjusted the belt. He hadn't planned on going on the mission but when he heard something about a Hydra base, he knew he had to go. He was still sleeping on the couch. He was growing weary of it. He couldn't wait for all of this to be over so he could have his bed to himself. That was the biggest thing he missed. He couldn't say he hasn't enjoyed Sarah's company though. That's one thing he did like about staying here. He smiled to himself. And her cooking…. He was a sucker for anything Sarah cooked.

Stepping out into the living room, he saw Sarah sitting on the couch with a book in her hands. A pang of guilt struck him. He hadn't mentioned the assignment to her. In this moment, he wished he had. She had already had enough of being left behind. He even started to regret taking on the mission altogether. He shook his head, pushing away all the doubt. He _had_ to go… or was his inner Steve Rogers bleeding through?

"Morning, "she said not looking up from the pages. He didn't answer her as he slid around the corner of the couch. She glanced him over and he how feel her disapproval already. She leaned forward and took a sip of her coffee.

"You know you can tell me about this kind of stuff, right?" she turned a page in her book. Bucky tossed his boots in front of the armchair and sat down.

"I didn't want to give you something else to worry about…" he muttered, loosening the laces. She shut her book slowly and looked at him. Bucky threw a glance her way as he pulled on his boots and laced them tightly. "You gonna be okay while I'm gone?" he asked quietly, trying to avoid an awkward silence. She shrugged then nodded, "I think so…"

"Good…" he stood up and lumbered towards the door. He couldn't say that he wasn't worried about her some… He leaned down and pulled a 9 mm pistol from his bag. He still had a small pinch of doubt lingering in the back of his mind. "Do you know how to use this?" he asked in a more serious tone. She held her hand out for him to give it to her. He rolled his eyes slightly and took a few paces to place it in her hand. Without hesitation, she cocked it back.

"I think I'll be okay…" she said with a hint of a smile. "How long will you be gone?" He shrugged, "Not too long…. Maybe a week."

"Buck, I-"she started to speak but her sentence was interrupted by the sound of an alarm going near the desk. She stood quickly and paced to the desktop computer, where the small sound was coming from. Bucky could tell it was a video chat of some kind. Sarah clicked around on the screen until it went black. He knew he needed to go. Bucky took this moment to slip out of the door, knowing good and well he was late already. She was going to be fine. He felt better after giving her the pistol. He figured this assignment gave him the perfect opportunity to be able to leave Sarah and James alone. It had been weeks since Steve left and she was doing fine. Plus, he'd get his bed back.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry it's taken me so long to post this chapter! Today was my birthday and I turned 20…. I think it got canceled and they forgot to tell me because nobody remembered…..

Your Choice: Chapter 10

When Bucky arrived at headquarters, they quickly steered him back home. They had canceled the assignment he was meant to go on because of a change of intel they had received. With the information they had, they didn't need him. Part of him was relieved to know he wouldn't have to leave Sarah and James alone. He was nearly eaten alive with guilt on his way to headquarters. He wasn't even gone a whole day.

He was crossing the parking lot where he parked his bike when he felt his phone vibrating in his pants pocket. He took a moment to fish it out and remember how to accept a call. He swiped the green phone button, "Hello?" he said gruffly.

"Man, where are you?" It was Sam. Bucky was confused, "Parking garage. Why?"

"Get up here," Sam commanded. "Somethings happened…" Bucky hung up and paced into the apartment complex. Panic swirled inside him. What happened? Was it Sarah? The elevator seemed to be ascending so slow… Once he reached the 4th floor, Bucky clawed the elevator doors open and paced down the hall. Sam was already standing at the threshold of the apartment door with James on his hip. James giggled and started reaching out for him. Bucky was almost running, "What happened?"

"Bedroom. Go," Sam said shortly, wrangling James back into his arms. Bucky nodded and stepped inside, heading straight for the master bedroom. The floor was slick with something wet… He didn't bother dropping his duffle bag or taking off his boots. He went to turn the knob and open the door but it was locked. "Sarah?" Bucky said trying to hide the slight panic in his voice. He could make out a small sniffle from the other side. He let out a small breath," Sarah let me in…"

After what seemed like a long time, he could hear the lock on the door turn. He paused before cracking the door open slightly, "Can I come in?" When she didn't answer, he let the door swing open and stepped in. Sarah was sitting on the edge of the bed with her hands folded in her lap, covered in blood. She never lifted her heavy gaze from the floor. Bucky's eyes grew wide but he had to collect himself. He shut the door and gently walked up to her. _The wet substance in the hall was her blood_ , he told himself.

"What happened?" he asked quickly. Her face was swollen again. She looked just the same way she did when he found her the first time. All the light she had inside of her that morning was gone…. Her ponytail was wild and tangled. Bucky kneeled down in front of her. "Sarah, what happened?" he asked a little more roughly. She looked at him slowly. Pain swam in her eyes and she opened her mouth to speak. No tears came, however.

"I'm just so tired, Bucky…. I'm _so_ tired…" she whispered hoarsely. Bucky slipped his fingers around one of her wrists, lifting her arm, pushing her face side to side, looking over her legs. He was looking for the source of all the blood. He found it when he lifted her leg up and saw the bottom of her feet. They were torn to shreds and raw and filled with bits of glass.

"I-I was gonna cook …." She began, wiping her eyes. "I was gonna cook something and I saw the video…" Bucky made a mental note about the video. She continued, "After that…I was so shaken up …I-I couldn't even hold on the glass bowl… you know that one I use all the time?" Bucky nodded tightly, still holding her ankle gently. "I dropped it…. And somehow I stepped in the glass…" She looked back to the floor.

Glass was still embedded in her feet. Bucky racked his mind of every possible solution he could do to help her… After a few moments of thought, he decided it was best to take her to the hospital. He slipped his metal arm under her legs, "C'mon. We gotta get you looked at…" She didn't protest as he lifted her up and off the bed.

"I'm just tired, Buck…" she muttered as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I know…" he replied gently. He used his foot to open the door and walked gently down the hall. Sam was still bouncing James on his hip. He shook his head slightly as he watch Bucky pass by with Sarah.

"Can you stay with James while we go see a doctor?" Bucky asked.

"Of course, man. I got this…" Sam forced a smile.

Bucky took Sarah's car to the hospital with her lying in the back seat. He knew in his gut he shouldn't have left her. Every red light he turned in his seat slightly, "You okay?" he'd ask. She nodded yes every time.

The hospital visit didn't take very long. A doctor removed all the glass that was still in her feet and bandaged her up. He warned her not to walk around too much for the next few days and to wash the wounds every night. Other than a few restrictions, she would be fine…

Steve took in a shaky breath, staring at the cryo- tube he was about to crawl into. Once he was inside, he would slip off into hyper-sleep for the next four years. Everyone had already climbed inside their vessel. Only Steve and Clint were left still awake. They both stood beside their tubes.

"I'm not too fond of being almost frozen…." Steve muttered under his breath. Clint snorted a laugh and shook his head.

"Did she get your message?" Clint asked. Steve shrugged, "I think so…. Did Laura get yours?"

Clint shook his head slightly, "No…. I didn't send her one…" Steve was shocked in a way. But he didn't ask any questions.

"We said our goodbyes when I left…" Barton continued. Steve nodded understandingly.

In that moment, Steve took in a deep breath. Clint stepped over the edge and into his vessel. Steve watched him lie down stiffly, "See you on the other side…" he said before the dark colored glass slid down over the opening. Steve was alone.

He paused momently to listen to the complete and deafening silence. He couldn't stop himself from choking up some. He crawled at his face and walked a quick circle around his cryo-tube. For the first time in years, he was scared. He summoned his last bit of courage and climbed into the vessel. He reluctantly laid down on the cushioned pad at the bottom. The glass began to slide down and Steve knew there was no going back. He rested his head back and closed his eyes. Strange smelling gases began to pour into the chamber. Before he could think, Steve's world faded into darkness.


	11. Chapter 11

Your Choice: Chapter 11

It was dark on their way home from the hospital. Bucky was being extremely careful while driving since he had only driven a handful of times. It was an ocean of headlights and taillights. Sarah had her bandaged feet propped up on the dash, trying to stay awake. She had her arms crossed over her chest and stared out of the passenger window.

"Hey, Buck?' she said rolling her head to her left to look at him.

"What?" he quipped, trying to stay focused.

"What's your favorite color?..." she muttered. Bucky was silent. He was caught off guard by her question. What _was_ his favorite color?

"I haven't given it much thought…. Why?" he said gruffly. She turned to look out of the window, "I was just curious… But give it some thought and then tell me when you get it." He looked over to her as they stopped at a red light. Despite the dark circles under her eyes, she smiled. A warm smile. Just like the old Sarah. Bucky returned it.

When they got home, Bucky carried her to the master bedroom. He let Sam go home and thanked him for keeping James. _Home_. Bucky called it home because that's what it felt like now. He'd noticed the small things that made him feel that way. The sigh of relief he breathed when he walked through the front door. Knowing it was time to wake up when he heard Sarah moving in the kitchen making breakfast. Changing James' diapers when needed and Sarah didn't ask him to. It was home now.

He figured Sarah would have no problem falling asleep tonight. He bounced James in his arms, padding down the hall towards the nursey. James was two months old now and was the spitting image of Steve Rogers already. James loved Bucky's metal arm. He was constantly grabbing onto his cold fingers and staring at them in fascination. Bucky smiled and muttered, "I don't get why you think this is so cool…" he waved his fingers in front of James. James beamed at the metal hand in from of him and reached out for it. "Uh uh buddy, you gotta go to sleep…" Bucky laid him down in his crib gently.

Bucky shut the door behind himself. He stepped out of one boot, left it lying in the hallway, and then stepped out of the other. He slowly shed his heavy leather jacket and let it fall to the floor. He was making his way to the couch until he remembered the video Sarah had mentioned. He swerved away from the couch and sat at the desk where the computer was. He jiggled the mouse around to wake the screen up. The video was still pulled up, just like Sarah had left it. He started it from the beginning. It was Steve… Bucky watched the recording of his best friend sitting there awkwardly, obviously tongue tied. He licked his lips anxiously, still fighting for words. He laced his fingers together and put his hands in his lap and finally began to speak.

" _Sarah… I…I don't even know where to start…"_ Steve looked at the camera. _"I do know where to start…I just don't know how I'm ever going to be able to say enough to make it right again. And the cold, hard truth is that I'm not. I never want you….I never want you to think I left because of something you did. I didn't. You and Bucky both know I hate bullies…. And right now…the universe is standing toe to toe with one. You know how I told you how scared I was of holding James for the first time? Right now, I'm even more scared. But Captain America can't say that…. But I can say it to you. I love you. I love James. I never wanted to leave. But I had to…to protect you. Robert Frost said 'in three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.' That's all I want for you, Sarah… You didn't do anything to make me leave or scare me away. All I want is to keep both of you safe. Plain and simple…. When you're ready, sign the papers, okay? Find someone new. Fall in love, okay? You want me to be happy? YOU be happy. I will always love you and James…no matter what."_ Steve reached up to the camera and the screen went dark.

Bucky sat there in the silence of the apartment, not knowing what to think… He noticed the letter stuffed up under the edge of the laptop. He pulled it out and saw that Sarah had signed the divorce papers….. Bucky dropped the papers onto the keyboard. He was trying to figure out whether Steve's video hurt or helped Sarah… He pushed the chair back from the desk and stood. Making his way towards the couch, he grabbed a pillow from the armchair and tossed it onto the armrest. He didn't want to think about that anymore. The divorce was as good as finalized. Bucky was just happy to be home. _Home_ … Bucky smiled slightly to himself as he flopped onto the couch. He had no trouble finding sleep.

He dreamed a pleasant memory this time. It was a welcomed change. He was dreaming about when Sarah and Steve told him they were expecting a baby boy.

" _What's his name gonna be?"_ Bucky remembers asking. Steve and Sarah both exchanged warm smiles before Sarah looked at him. _"James Buchanan Rogers…"_ she laughed.

Bucky woke up the next morning to the sound of Sarah limping down the hall. He rolled his eyes. She was never one to listen to a doctor. He sat up slowly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his flesh hand. He looked to Sarah who was now standing at the hallway entrance. She looked up at him and let out a yelp and covered her mouth. Bucky's eyes grew wide and he looked around trying to find the danger.

"Y-you're a-arm…" she breathed, pointing at the metal stub on his left shoulder. Bucky looked down. _Shit_. He had forgotten he had taken off his metal arm the night before. He always did before going to sleep. Sarah had apparently never seen him do it. He turned around and grabbed it off the floor by the couch, "It's alright… it's supposed to pop off, see?" He slid it back on and flexed it. She moved her fingers away from her mouth and cracked a crooked smile when he wiggled his fingers.

"No big deal. I take it off all the time," Bucky turned to stand up. Sarah snorted a giggle that soon turned into a deep laughter. She clutched her sides, "I thought your arm fell off…" Her laughter warmed Bucky's insides. He hadn't heard it in so long…. He smiled at her and crossed his arms. After she collected herself, she wiped a tear away, "That was hilarious. Sorry… you probably don't think it's all that funny…" Bucky smiled and shook his head.

"Why are you walking? You have restrictions…" Bucky muttered, tightening his arms over his chest. Sarah's smile faded, "I-I wanted to cook…." She sounded almost childlike. "You can't cook on your feet…" Bucky said flatly, walking over to her. "C'mere, "he grunted as he leaned down to pick her up. He was taking her to the couch. He sat her down and sat himself on the coffee table to inspect the bottom of her feet. With her walking around, she made them start to bleed again.

"You're hard-headed…" Bucky said gruffly, standing up again. He stepped over to the kitchen counter and snatched the first aid kit off the counter. He was going to have to clean the gashes on her feet. He hadn't done anything like this…. He tossed the kit of the coffee table before he sat down again.

"Foot," he quipped and Sarah propped her foot on his knee.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked in a small voice. He shook his head. He guessed he was being a little cold and that probably gave her the impression he was mad. He started to bandage her feet. They were both quiet for a long time.

"Red…." He muttered under his breath.

"What?" Sarah asked, leaning forward slightly.

"You asked what my favorite color is earlier. I guess its red…" he clarified. He glanced at her, only for a split second. She was beaming at him.


	12. Chapter 12

Your Choice: Chapter 12

*** 3 months later***

It was almost six months since Steve had left Sarah. Bucky was still staying with her. They had developed a detailed routine by now. They'd both wake up early. Sarah would have her coffee but would make Bucky hot chocolate since he didn't care for coffee. Most mornings she would cook and they would talk until James was awake. As time passed, their conversations went from chatting about the weather to discussing Hamlet. There was no denying Bucky enjoyed her company.

"What …er page…is that?" Bucky hissed through gritted teeth and he went down for another push up. Sarah was perched on his back between his shoulders to give him more of a challenge. She adjusted her legs before he pushed up again.

"395…" she said licking her thumb and turning the page. "396 now…" Bucky pushed himself off the floor again. "K-Kay…" he quipped. She was reading a new book out loud. He liked the way she read. The next push up was his last. He let himself collapse on the floor and Sarah rolled off his back with a yelp.

"I'm done…" he pressed his face to the cold hardwood floor. He lost count on how many pushups he'd done… She slapped him with the book and she stood up, "Give me some warning next time!" She turned on her heels. He didn't let her see him smile.

They had planned on going to the park today. It was a warm, sunny July day so it was perfect to be outside. Sarah put the stroller into the back of the car. Bucky watched her man-handle the stroller while he held James. James was starting to babble some, but hadn't said any real words yet. They both doubted he would say anything soon. She slammed the truck of the car shut and let out a sigh of relief. She turned to Bucky and James, "I can buckle him in if you want…" she offered. Bucky started towards the car, "I got 'em…" She shrugged and opened the door and slipped into the driver's seat. James' car seat was on the back passenger's side so that Sarah could see him in the rearview mirror.

Bucky opened the door and ducked inside to strap James in. He was the best baby Bucky had ever been around. He almost never cried and he always took his naps on time. Bucky was glad Sarah had such a good kid. Bucky leaned over to put James' arm through the strap.

"Da da!" James laughed. Bucky froze, hoping he didn't hear James correctly. He looked to his left, into James' eyes.

"Da da…" James repeated, showing his incoming set of two front teeth with a sweet smile. This time Bucky knew James was referring to him. Bucky could feel the blood drain from his face. He turned his head to look at Sarah, who was already behind the wheel. She was pale. Maybe she didn't hear him? Bucky quickly finished buckling in James and slipped into the front passenger seat. He looked at Sarah again. She was trying her dead best to act normal. But her act was too shallow and Bucky saw straight through it as always. She turned the key to the ignition, "To the park!" Her voice cracked and she pulled from the parking space.

Bucky knew in the back of his mind that things had just became even more complicated.

The park was wonderful. Sarah and Bucky both took turns pushing James' stroller. She seemed to have herself collected. The sun was beaming down and was warm on his face. He liked the warmth. It was a nice tradeoff from the cold. Bucky didn't bring up was James was now calling him, in fear he'd upset her. They had found a bench to sit on so Sarah could give James his bottle. She rocked him back and forth until he was asleep in her arms.

Bucky watched the people around them. Kids were playing on the swing set while their mothers chatted off to the side. Older couples sat on benches and fed birds breadcrumbs and Bucky couldn't help but overhear them arguing, "You know, Harold…I have no _desire_ to sit here all day…" Bucky sat at attention at the familiar word…

"Aw man…. This swing is _rusted_ …" a child on the playground said. Something inside Bucky lurched involuntarily and he sat forwards. No…. the code words….

"So how old is Katie now? _Seventeen?_ " the mothers by the playground continued to chat. Everyone's conversations around him became louder. Bucky clapped his hands over his ears.

"Bucky…what's wrong?" he felt Sarah's hand on his shoulder.

"We have to go…NOW" Bucky hissed at her, fear rising in his gut. She quickly put James back into his stroller and stood.

"Well, honey. If you didn't wake up at the crack of _dawn_ every day…" the old couple continued to bicker and Bucky felt himself slipping out of control. He made a dash for the car, leaving Sarah and James behind him. He couldn't lose control again. Not in front of them at least. Bucky ran past a couple of high school boys sitting on top of a picnic table.

"What's the matter, grandpa?" one boy sneered at him as he ran. "Leave the _stove_ on at home?" A pulse shot through Bucky, making him scream and lash out and slam his metal arm into a tree. The boys scrabbled away when they saw this.

"BUCKY," He heard Sarah calling for him. He was fighting for control over his mind once more. Everything Hydra had done to him was still lurking in the crevices of his brain, waiting. Bucky kept running for the car. He needed the quiet. He needed silence to compose himself. Every thought was a runaway train that he couldn't catch. Before he could make his next move, he was simply standing there, not knowing what to do next. As if he were awaiting the next code word…

"Bucky!" he turned to see Sarah jogging up to him, pushing James in his stroller. She grabbed his hand and pulled him alongside her, "We are going home." He followed her, secretly praying she'd never let his hand go….


	13. Chapter 13

Your Choice: Chapter 13

Bucky felt like a hollow shell as they got home. James cried the entire way, making the drive eerie and unusual. "He just needs a nap…" Sarah repeated under her breathe as she clung to the steering wheel. Bucky had his hands folded in his lap. His head was pounding. He stared off at his feet and let his shaggy hair hang in his face. Many things weighted heavy on his mind. The red book was still out there…. And someone had it. Sarah pulled the car in its usual parking space and the vehicle came to a stop. She scrabbled out and around the car to tend to James.

Bucky felt like a vegetable. He sat in the passenger seat until Sarah opened his door.

"C'mon, Buck…" she said in a low voice. He climbed out slowly and she shut the door behind him. James had stopped wailing as hard since Sarah got him out of the car seat. But when he saw Bucky, he instantly reached for him, wanting Bucky to hold him.

Sarah pulled him back straight in her arms, "No buddy…Daddy doesn't feel good right now…"

Something inside Bucky flipped. He looked at her in bewilderment. She had heard James babble this morning after all. He was burning in his gut. He wasn't sure whether to be upset or not but now was not the time to have an episode. As soon as they walked in the door, Sarah went to lay James down for his nap. Bucky collapsed on the couch feeling absolutely drained.

"Alright," Sarah said, walking back down the hall from the nursey. "What just happened?"

Bucky didn't want to tell her. She didn't need to know about the red book.

"Migraine…" Bucky made a poor excuse but she saw straight through it. She sat in the armchair and crossed her arms, waiting on the real answer. She stared a hole into the side of his head. He wasn't going to tell her…

"Was it the Code Words?" she asked gently. He looked at her, "How did you-?"

She pursed her lips, "Steve told me… He told me about the red book… and what happened with Zola…"

Bucky looked down, ashamed. He didn't want her to know but she had known the whole time. He felt three feet tall now as she looked at him. Like a criminal standing before a judge.

"Is that what happened at the park?" she pursed. He didn't answer her. She nodded and looked away, knowing he was done on the subject. He wasn't about to tell her any more. She stood slowly and made her way into the kitchen and set into cooking lunch. Bucky remained on the couch for a long time. He felt spaced out…

"Hey Buck? Why don't you go lay down?" Sarah suggested from the kitchen. She never looked up from the tomatoes she was dicing. He looked to her, he liked looking at her. He felt a wave of calm time he did wash over him every to. She looked up at him minutely and gave him a smile, "You can go lay down on my bed if you want…" Bucky nodded tightly and forced himself off the couch.

He scratched at the stubble on his jaw. He needed a shave…. Sarah's bed had lost Steve's smell according to her. Bucky pushed the thought aside as he pushed the bedroom door open. He stepped out of his shoes and kicked them to the side. He shed his shirt, flinging it to the floor and collapsed into the bed. He didn't think he should be this tired with it only being 12:32 in the afternoon. He let his eyes drift shut and let out a sigh and drifted off into a heavy sleep.

He had a nightmare again. He was strapped to a chair with restraints that were made to hold him down. Doctors and scientist bustled around him and one of them held up a mouth guard to his face. He found himself voluntarily opening his mouth to hold it between his teeth. The mind wiping device lowered around his head and he knew the pain was coming.

" _Wipe him…"_

Bucky jolted awake in a cold sweat. His chest was heaving. He was glad he had somehow escaped the dream and flopped back down on the bed. He heard Sarah padding down the hallway. She peeked inside the door, "You awake?" Bucky rubbed his eyes and nodded.

"I've got you something fixed. So come on…" she said opening the door slightly wider, then walking away. Bucky swung his legs around to place them on the floor. He yawned and crawled his fingers through his hair. He found himself feeling starved.

"Buck!" Sarah called his name from the kitchen. He stood up from the bed. Everything was different now…. He padded down the hall and stepped into the open air of the kitchen. Sarah had set both of their plates on the dining room table. James sat in his high chair next to Sarah's seat, playing with a mixture of peas and corn. Bucky felt that familiar warmth bloom inside him again.

He pulled back his seat at the table and sat down in front of the plate Sarah had fixed. She put together a sandwich for the both of them. Bucky tried to hide a smile as she sat down across from him.

"Be careful…" he muttered. "I think I may be getting used to this…"

She sipped her drink and eyed him carefully, "Well that would be okay with me…" she replied.

Bucky felt his breath hitch in his chest. He hadn't felt like this in decades…..He watched her help James eat his lunch.

The phone rang across the room. Sarah slung down her napkin on the table, "I've got it." She stood and paced across the room. She scrabbled to get to the phone before it went to voicemail.

"Hello?" she asked and she picked it up. "Hey!... I'm fine! He's right here, why?" Sarah threw a glance at Bucky. "Okay, here he is…" she walked over with the phone extended for Bucky to take. _Its Sam_ , she mouthed. Bucky took the phone reluctantly, "Hello?"

"Little birdy told me someone had an episode in the park this morning…" Sam said with a hint of venom. Bucky clawed at his face and let out a sigh. Sam continued, "Spare me the details, man. The red book, right?"

"Yeah…" Bucky breathed after a long pause.

"You tell Sarah about this?" Sam inquired. "No. No I haven't… "Bucky was quick to answer that question.

"Good. Let's keep it like that. I got us a lead on the book, but we gotta go right now…" Sam said in a low tone.

"Okay…" Bucky said quickly. "Be there in 10 minutes." Bucky hung up the phone and stood from his seat.

"W-what's going on?" Sarah asked. Bucky turned to go down the hall, with the intentions of getting his gear. He didn't want to tell her.

"Sam got us an assignment. Got to go…" he paced off, leaving her with James in the dining room. Within 3 minutes, Bucky was geared up and standing at the door. Sarah stood by the couch with her arms crossed, secretly wishing he wouldn't go. Bucky opened the door.

"That's it, then?" Sarah said quickly. "No 'bye' or 'kiss my ass'?" Bucky turned to look at her. She had her hands on her hips now.

"What do you want me to say?" Bucky replied with a shrug. She looked to the side and licked her lips, trying to come up with a reply. After a long moment of silence, Bucky turned to face her fully. He held his arms out and couldn't help but roll his eyes, "C'mere…"

Sarah quickly stepped into his embrace, "Come back in one piece?"

Bucky smiled as he wrapped his arms around her loosely, "No promises…"

Within a few minutes, Bucky was on his motorcycle and headed towards Sam's. He didn't know what he was getting into but he knew that Sarah would be there when he got back.


	14. Chapter 14

Your Choice: Chapter 14

The image of the red book was burning in Bucky's mind. Sam had gotten a lead that a Russian mob in Manhattan had obtained it somehow. They ran a taxi service somewhere but have had a little trouble with a masked vigilante lately. Sam hadn't done much research so they were going into this on a rumor. Bucky hoped they wouldn't see them coming with the vigilante being their main focus.

It was pitch dark on the bad side of Manhattan. Locals called it Hell's Kitchen and the place made Bucky's hair stand on edge. Sam flew high above him, being his eyes in the sky. Bucky was on his motorcycle and payed no attention to the speed limit. The streets were nearly barren anyway with it being so late at night.

" _You're gonna take a right up here… then we'll be on top of the taxi shop…"_ Sam said over the earpiece. Bucky turned right at the next intersection and pulled his bike up by the sidewalk. Sam landed on the rooftop on the building next to him. Bucky swung the rifle he had on his back around and adjusted the silencer on the end of the barrel, "Don't you think we should have swapped places? I'm the sniper, remember?" he quipped.

 _"Naw, man. The name is Falcon because I'm a bird that_ _flies_ _…. Caw caw. The entrance is about a hundred yards straight on…"_ Sam said quickly. Bucky rolled his eyes. He kept his footsteps quiet. Two armed gunmen stood on both sides of the garage entrance. Bucky took them out easily. They were dead before their bodies hit the ground. Bucky could hear gunfire on the roof top.

 _"There were 3 topside. I took care of them. I'm headed down…"_ Sam said over the mic. Bucky kept his back pressed to the concrete column at the entrance. Sam roared down from the roof with his wings wide open. He landed with ease and his wings contracted back. Both of them kept their heads low and their weapons aimed as they both made their way into the garage. The driveway descended under the building and into a parking garage and workshop. Two more gunmen stood at the bottom.

Bucky jerked his head in their direction and Sam nodded as he whispered in the mic, _"On three….one… two…three…"_ They both fired off a shot and took off running. They caught the dead guards by their shirt collars before they hit the floor to minimize noise. They laid the bodies down carefully and kept going. They reached the bottom of the garage and looked over an ocean of yellow taxi cars.

Several men were clumped together near the office door. They muttered in Russian. Bucky could barely make out what they were saying.

"They're talking about….. Kingpin?" Bucky whispered hoarsely to Sam. "Does that mean anything to you?" Sam shrugged and shook his head.

"Alright we gotta even the odds here….How many are there? Eight?" Sam muttered.

Bucky nodded in agreement.

"I'll roll this out and you take down those 4 on the left…" Sam reached behind him and pulled a smoke bomb from his belt. He pulled the pin gently and rolled it across the floor, towards the men.

"The hell is that?" one of the men turned to see the bomb but it was too late. Smoke exploded around them and they broke into a coughing fit. Bucky made his move, taking down 4 of the 8 men. When the smoke cleared, none of them were standing.

"Pick your four, "Bucky told Sam, gesturing to the pile of unconscious men around him. Within minutes, Sam and Bucky had restrained 4 men, disarmed, and locked them inside the small office. They were starting to come to, muttering curses under their breath and how bad their heads hurt.

Sam kneeled down in front of one of the men with a jagged scar over his eye, "We're looking for a book. A red book… What do you know about it?" The man sneered and muttered something in Russian. Sam turned to Bucky to interpret. Bucky cocked an eyebrow, "I'm not repeating that…"

"You said a red book?" a man on the opposite end asked with a thick accent. Sam nodded," Yeah. What do you know?" The man pulled at his restraints, "Zola had book, no?" the man nodded towards Bucky. "He used to make Winter Soldier again…"

Bucky crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the man.

An explosion rocked the garage, knocking Bucky to the concrete. Sam and Bucky both scrambled to their feet and turned to see gunmen pouring into the garage. Bullets ate into the wall around them. They were cornered…..

" _Dammit…"_ Sam hissed as he fired off rounds from his 9mm pistols. Bucky took down men one by one with his rifle. Only a handful of gunmen were left when Bucky noticed one in particular. He was tall, big and bald. He was dressed exquisitely. The blood drained from Bucky's face when he saw he had the red book tucked under his arm. Time seemed to slow. Bucky watched helplessly as the man pulled the book out from under his arm and open it. He tugged at the cufflinks on his dress coat before turning a few pages. His eyes met Bucky's and gave him a wolfish smile.

"Sputnik…" the man said loudly and clearly.

Bucky dropped his rifle. His thoughts blurred. He hit his knees, unable to do _anything_ … The man slapped the book shut and turned on his heels, leaving. He'd said the magic word Hydra used to shut down the Winter Soldier when they could no longer control him. Sam's face appeared before Bucky, screaming something. Bucky couldn't speak, he couldn't think, he couldn't move…. The next thing he knew, his world faded black around him.

Bucky awoke with blurred vision. He blinked a few times and found himself looking up into the black sky. He hiss in pain when he took a breath. When he looked down to inspect himself, he was coated in blood. He slowly looked to his right and saw Sam lying beside him, beaten nearly to death. They were both lying in a dumpster. Had he beaten Sam? Bucky cursed himself for not being able to remember….

Bucky could only take small, shallow breaths to avoid the sharp pain in his ribs. He tried adjusting himself to get closer to Sam but failed. Bucky stared at him. Sam's face was swollen and bruised. Blood poured from his nose but he was still breathing. Bucky's eyes grew heavy and he couldn't help but slip back into the darkness.

"Buck? Bucky?!"

Bucky's eyes fluttered open to see Sarah's face before his. He felt her hands on either side of his face.

"S-Sarah?" He muttered painfully. He was lying on a stretcher inside an ambulance. Sarah was at his side next to the paramedics.

She nodded tightly, "I'm right here…What happened?"

"Where's Sam?" Bucky asked quickly. "Where is he?"

"He's in the other ambulance, Buck. We are going to the hospital. What happened?" She said more sternly. He tried to sit up but Sarah put her hand on his chest and forced him back down.

"James Buchanan Barnes, you tell me what the hell happened…" She said with venom. Tears pooled up in her eyes in frustration. He felt a pang of guilt. He looked away from her.

"They must have known we were coming…" he muttered. "He had the book…"

Sarah's gaze hardened, "The Red Book? Is that what this is all about?"

"Sarah, take me home," Bucky said looking at her again. He wanted to change the subject. "I want to go home…"

"No," she said firmly. "We go to the hospital. Then we go home."

He placed his hand on her arm, "Sarah, please…." She took her hand off of his chest and held it up. Her fingers were covered in his blood.

"Hospital. Then home," she repeated. Bucky didn't say anything else. He knew there was no point in arguing with her anymore. The longer he thought, the surer he was that he was the one who beat Sam. Bucky inspected his metal hand. Blood hand run into the grooves on his fingers and knuckles. Whose it belonged to, he didn't know. If that man had the Red Book, there is no telling what he made Bucky do…..


	15. Chapter 15

Your Choice: Chapter 15

Sam and Bucky were both emitted into the hospital after they were found in the dumpster. Sam was kept in a separate room, away from Bucky. Sam had yet to come to while doctors and nurses bustled around him. Sarah only left Bucky's side occasionally only to check on Sam.

Nurses had to cut Bucky's vest and shirt away to get to his wounds. They tried to put an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose but Bucky protested.

"Sir, please you have to wear this…" the nurse insisted. Bucky pushed her hand away but she forced it to his face. " _No_ …" Bucky hissed. He was starting to panic with all the people around him.

Sarah stepped to the bedside, "Please…Don't do that…he doesn't like things near his face…" she told the nurse gently. The nurse shot her daggers and ripped the mask away from Bucky's face. Bucky clawed at the side of the bed until he found Sarah's hand. His eyes found hers in the crowd. A wave of calm washed over him as he looked at her. He was going to be fine.

Within 30 minutes, Bucky was all patched up and lying in the hospital bed. Someone had slipped a knife between his ribs several times and managed to puncture his left lung. He was barely fit enough to go home if he wanted to. Which he did, badly. Sam had finally came conscious and confirmed that Bucky wasn't the one who beat him. Bucky couldn't explain the weight that had taken off his shoulders.

"Were you scared… that you were the one to mess up my beautiful face?" Sam told Bucky hoarsely. Sarah had wheeled Bucky into Sam's room to see him. Sam had been stabbed several times also. Bucky decided that the Russians didn't want them dead, yet. Bucky sat up in his wheelchair. He was only using it because Sarah wanted him to. His sides were hurting badly….

"Do you remember… anything?" Sam asked him, trying to sit up in bed some. Bucky shook his head, "He used the code word to shut me down…. This is why I went back under after that fallout with Stark…"

Sam cocked an eyebrow at him, "I figured out that much…."

Sarah sheepishly stepped into Sam's room with Bucky's release papers in her hands. "Hey Sam… how are you feeling?" she asked.

"I've had better days, lil bit…" Sam said as he let out a sigh. She gave him a smile and he returned it. Sam gestured towards the door, "Why don't the both of ya'll split? …..I'm gonna be fine.." Sam rolled his head to the side to look at Bucky, "We know they got the book….. we'll get it.."

Bucky nodded tightly and felt Sarah's hand on his shoulder. He wanted to go home.

Bucky and Sarah shared her bed that night. It was something they'd never done before. She insisted she sleep on the couch but Bucky had somehow talked her into staying in the bed with him. Sarah took the left side of the bed because that was the one she usually slept on. Bucky was on the right. He laid flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. Before going to Hell's Kitchen, Sarah had taken James to stay with her friend Claire. Claire offered to keep him as long as Sarah needed her to.

Bucky listened to Sarah's steady breathing as she slept. Her back was to him as she lay an arm's length away. He was thankful to be able to have half a bed instead of the couch… He wouldn't have been able to sleep at all.

"Buck?" He heard Sarah breathe. He was wrong about her being asleep. "Yeah?" he muttered with his eyes closed.

"Do you want…to stay here?" she said just above a whisper. Bucky felt the warmth blossom in his chest. After a long moment, Sarah had convinced herself that he would say no.

"Yes…" he said at last. Sarah released a sigh of relief. He took a shaky breath, trying to hide the fact that he was excited.

"Good…" she said quietly. She didn't say anything else. He let himself smile. He clinched the sheets at his sides.

"Sarah?" he said. "Hmm?" she replied.

"Are you okay with James calling me dad?" Bucky had been meaning to ask her. He was nervous about what she would say. He felt she roll over to face him in the dark. She adjusted herself to get comfortable, "If you're okay with it…..so am I…" she said at last. Her tone suggested that she had mixed emotions.

"I don't want to replace Steve…." He said trying to reassure her. "I'm probably not…I'm not going to be the best substitute….. But-" "Bucky…" he heard her say quickly. She moved closer and put her arm in his, "You're great with him already. Go to sleep…"

His chest was on fire when she touched him. He thought that maybe Hydra had disabled him from being able to …feel. He knew that the old Bucky Barnes was dead and gone. Hydra had murdered him. They made him into a weapon of destruction. But from that, he knew he had become a different person. He wasn't Bucky Barnes, he wasn't the Winter Soldier, and he was something in the middle now… He could feel Sarah's breath on his skin. Something cold and icy was thawing inside him now. He cared about her, there was no denying that.

He closed his eyes and let himself fall into a much needed sleep.

When he awoke the next morning, Sarah's half of the bed was empty. Bucky could remember waking during the night to her stealing his half of the sheets. _She is a cover thief, that's for sure,_ he told himself. He had almost forgotten about his injuries until he stood up. Sharp pain shot through his torso and he was doubled over.

"Shhiiittt…" he hiss through gritted teeth. Sarah stepped out of the bathroom without warning, "Language!" she pointed at him with a toothbrush between her teeth. She wiped toothpaste foam from her chin and tried not to laugh at her own joke. Bucky forgot about the pain for a moment when he saw her. How dare she stand at the doorway to the bathroom in her oversized t-shirt and bed hair? She slayed him where he sat. He cracked a smile and shook his head when he realized something.

He loves her.


	16. Chapter 16

Your Choice: Chapter 16

Bucky looked at her for a long time as she brushed her teeth. _You love her_ … he told himself. Love? Bucky couldn't recall ever being in love with someone before. Not even before the war. He had always been one to play the love card just to steal a kiss from a girl or two at a party. He was never sincere. He wandered to himself if she knew….

She tossed him a t-shirt and shorts from the closet. He had more than just a draw full of things here now so she had given him a space in the closet to hang some things. He painfully pulled the shirt over his head, messing up his bandages in the process. Gauze fell to his feet just in time for Sarah to step out of the closet and see. He took the shirt back off after a few moments of struggling.

"C'mon. I'll fix them in the kitchen…" she gestured for him to follow her. They both padded quietly down the hall. It was a force of habit by now with James' nursey being between the living room and the bedroom. She hadn't bother changing out of the big t-shirt. Bucky just stared at her… Under some sort of spell.

"Sit on the counter and I'll get the kit," she quipped and pointed at the kitchen counter. Bucky propped himself up too quickly and let out another hiss with pain. Sarah rounded the counter with the first aid kit. She popped it open and shot Bucky a look.

"What?" he quipped at her. She smiled gently as she set the supplies on the counter. "Nothing…" she muttered and picked up the scissors. She wiped off the blades with an alcohol swab. She stepped closer to him and ran the blade under the remaining bandages. He felt the metal on his skin and wanted to rip himself away. Bucky tried not to flinch. He didn't want her to know he wasn't fond of sharp things… She cut the bandages from his torso and pushed the trash can forward with her foot.

"I-I can do this part," Bucky said quickly as she sat the scissors down. "It's hard to look at…" She looked at him and raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure I've seen worse, Buck…" She pulled the bandages away let them from his skin and let them fall into the trash. Bucky watched her face as she worked. She was being gentle but focused. He could imagine she had patched up Steve countless times.

"Arm's out," She commanded. Bucky raised his arms up slightly so she could roll the gauze around him. She wrapped it tightly over the wounds. This was the closest they had ever been…

"Sorry it's so tight… I always had to wrap it tightly whenever Steve wou-" she stopped short. She taped off the end of the gauze quickly and went to the sink to wash her hands. The air in the room turned cold. Bucky hung his head. He was an idiot…. How could he let himself fall like this? He hopped off the counter, ignoring the pain and playing it off like he was fine. Sarah stood at the sink and let the water run. Bucky walked away.

 _Emotions were weakness. Sentiment is weakness. You are getting soft._ A familiar cold washed over him. The Winter Soldier whispered from the crevices of his mind. _She is just another mission…_ _You took care of her, that's it._ _No strings attached_. Bucky walked down the hall, ignoring the small cry Sarah let out as she stood in front of the sink. He turned sharply into the bathroom and quickly shut the door behind himself. He listened for a moment, tuning his ears to hear her. She was crying now.

Bucky stepped up to the sink. He turned the faucet and splashed some water on his face. Combing his hair back with his metal fingers, he looked at himself in the mirror for a long time. He knew what he needed to do.

There was a knock on the door, "H-hey Buck?" Sarah muttered.

"What?" Bucky snapped at her. There was a moment of silence before she answered.

"I-I was just letting you know I'm going to go pick up James from Claire's…" she said in a low tone. He didn't bother answering her. He listened to her softly walk away and pick up her keys. Within a few moments, she was gone.

Bucky opened up the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway. He paced to the bedroom with a new mission on his mind. He grabbed his backpack from the closet and tossed it on the bed. The Winter Soldier whispered to him again. _Mission complete. Report back._ He flung clothes into the backpack. He dressed quickly and pulled on a pair of boots. He could feel himself growing cold and distant.

He slung the backpack on his shoulders and pulled on a baseball cap. The apartment was dead quiet when he paused at the door. He turned at took a last look around. He didn't feel guilt. He didn't feel anything. Pulling the door open, he stepped over the threshold with no intentions of coming back.

Sarah came home an hour after she left. She had stopped by the store to grab a few things like bread and peanut butter. She'd even grabbed a movie. She was loaded down with grocery bags on one arm and James in the other. Setting down the bags in front of the apartment door, she began to fish for the keys in her purse. She paused when she saw the door was already cracked open.

She figured Bucky had gone downstairs to get the mail and forgot to shut it behind himself when he came back. Shouldering the door open wider, she stepped inside.

"Hey, Buck? I got that movie you wanted to see," She said aloud. It was dead quiet. She let the groceries fall to the floor and adjusted James in her arms. _Maybe he's asleep…_ she told herself. She bounced James as she walked down the hall to the bedroom. She cracked the door open slightly, "Bucky? You up?"

She fully expected to see him curled up in bed asleep. He would look up at her with bed hair and a sleepy grin, like normal. Instead, she saw half of the room nearly destroyed. His clothes were flung all over the floor and dresser drawers pulled out. She felt the blood drain from her face. Robbery was the first thing she thought of but that didn't seem right…

She stepped farther inside the room, shushing James who had started to cry. She stood among his scattered things and came to a sad, heavy conclusion.

Bucky had left.


	17. Chapter 17

Your Choice: Chapter 17

Bucky took his motorcycle back to his apartment. He was only a block or two away. Clouds were gathering and cast shadows on Manhattan. It would probably rain soon. He turned the collar of his leather jacket up when he reached a red light. The July heat and the impending rain made the humidity almost unbearable. His wounds were torn open again due to his reckless behavior. Blood had soaked through his shirt and he couldn't deny he was in pain. He glanced at a car pulled up next to him. He had to do a double take when he saw how similar the driver looked to Sarah. He knew in the back of his mind what he was doing wasn't right. He felt a slight since of control. What was he _doing?_ He looked around himself in the ocean of traffic to see how far out he was. He realized even if he did go back to his apartment, he would be locked out because he let the lease go months ago.

The light turned green but Bucky didn't go. Cars and buses around him honked and people were rolling down windows to shout at him. He stared at the gas tank on the bike. He had to turn around… He pulled forward under the light. Cars swerved to miss him as he turned completely around to go back to Sarah's. The bike roared past dozens of vehicles and Bucky was nearly ran over in his crazy maneuver. He was shocked to see how quickly and quietly the Winter Soldier could take back over. He made up a story to tell her as he headed back. She was going to be upset with him no matter what he told her so he prepared himself to get a lecture.

He parked his bike in its usual spot, trying to make it look like nothing was out of place. His backpack weighted him down. He rushed into the elevator. His ribs pained him. The elevator was as slow as ever. Bucky's mind swirled with everything we wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that he wasn't himself. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was. But he knew that he probably wouldn't give her anything but the cheap lie he made up only minutes ago.

He stepped out onto the 4th floor, looking both ways to see if she might be in the hallway by chance. Not seeing her, he paced up to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. He paused. It was locked. Bucky narrowed his eyes because the door was usually never locked. He removed his hand, letting his fingers linger only for a moment. Instincts he learned over the years took over and he knew something was wrong….

He turned around to put his back to the door. In one swift motion, he swung his metal arm around and into the door. Wood splintered through the air as the door came off the hinges. Bucky stepped inside, eyes ablaze.

"Right on time," a familiar voice said quickly. Bucky's eyes cut into the man sitting in the armchair beside the couch. It was the same man from the taxi garage who had the red book. Tall, big, bald, and well dressed. Two gunmen stood on either side of him.

"Where is she?" Bucky said through gritted teeth. The man threw him a glance and tugged on his coat sleeves. He gave Bucky a wolfish grin.

"One thing at a time my friend," he gestured to the other armchair for Bucky to sit. Bucky didn't move. The man couldn't hide his slight scowl. He pushed himself from the armchair and buttoned his dress coat. "I simply wanted to check in on how you were doing after our little…. Excursion last night. I trust that your lesson is healing well?"

Bucky knew he was talking about the stabbing the gunmen gave him and Sam. Bucky stayed silent for a long time. The man looked him up and down, "Not much of a talker, I see…. She isn't here if that helps…"

Bucky breathed a sigh of relief internally, not wanting to let his guard down. This man, whoever he was, knew where Sarah lived. He was a bigger threat than Bucky originally thought. The man stepped past Bucky, walking towards the door. He lightly out his hand on Buck's shoulder, "Nice talk…" And with that, the man and his gunmen were gone. Bucky listened to him walk down the hallway to the elevators.

"Evening ma'am," he said politely. "Evening!" Sarah chimed. Bucky stepped into the doorway to watch him. He was speaking to Sarah. He leaned down slightly to look at James in her arms.

"He's precious…" the man told Sarah. She beamed at him, "Why thank you. I think so too." She began walking away and the man threw a glance back to Bucky. A snake-like glance that Bucky understood what he was doing. Sarah caught sight of Bucky in the doorway, "Buck! Where did you go?"

Bucky grabbed her free hand and yanked her inside, shutting the door quickly. He didn't want that man near Sarah or James another moment.

"Bucky, what's going on?" Sarah commanded as she set James down on the floor. Bucky turned to look at her, prepared to give an explanation. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off with Sarah's embrace. She threw her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her, "I-I'm sorry…." was all he could manage.

She released him after a few moments and kept her hands on the sides of his neck.

"Don't do that to me again," she said firmly. He smiled at her gently and nodded. He knew he'd never leave her again. He knew she could see how pale and tired he was. She figured he tore his stitches open again. Peeling the leather jacket back to see only confirmed it. James was tugging at her pants leg, wanting to be held. She stooped down and picked him up.

"I'm going to go change his diaper. But when I get back, I expect an explanation from you…" she said to Bucky over her shoulder. Bucky shook his head. He knew he wouldn't escape giving her a lengthy explanation.


	18. Chapter 18

Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update! I started my summer semester and it's been crazy. Anyhow enjoy and I will update ASAP

Your Choice: Chapter 18

Bucky laid low for the next few weeks. The last thing he wanted was for the Russians to come back. Sarah and James were in significant danger. Bucky had ripped his stitches open when he left on his motorcycle, which resulted in another trip to the hospital. He wasn't fond of being poked and prodded by doctors and nurses. He hated white lab coats and the smell on antiseptic. He kept his opinions to himself for Sarah.

She wasn't asking many questions. She seemed to already know all the answers. They both laid in bed now. Bucky guess it had to be past midnight by how heavy his eyes were getting. Rain was pattering softly on the windows, drowning out some of the noise of the traffic on the street below. They were both rolled onto their sides to face each other on their side of the bed.

"You know how a few weeks ago when you came back home?" she muttered in the dark. Bucky nodded.

"I took the divorce papers to my lawyer that day…" her voice trailed off some before she started again. "Mr. Murdock said it would be finalized the next day…"

Bucky looked at her, studying her features in the dark. Her knees were curled to her chest tightly. Her blonde hair was tossed carelessly over the pillow she laid on. She was beautiful.

"You look beautiful…" Bucky said without a second thought.

"What?" Sarah asked quickly. Bucky felt himself grow molten in the face.

"I said goodnight…" he muttered. He flopped over onto his other side away from her, feeling flushed.

"Good night…" she replied in a low voice. Within minutes, she was asleep. Bucky was fighting his dropping eyelids. He was in deep thought and didn't want to close his eyes. He was thinking about a mission he had done years ago as the Winter Soldier. He pictured the victim in his mind's eye. She was a small, petite woman with long blonde hair. Was it Germany? She was young and bright and Bucky had been ordered to kill her with no witnesses.

She favored Sarah to a degree. He remembered stepping into her room that December night. She was fast asleep in bed, simply defenseless. Bucky remembered his old self clawing away at the back of his mind, trying to stop what was about to happen. But he couldn't… Her husband found her dead next to him the following morning. There was nothing on the autopsy, no evidence of a struggle, and no traces of the Winter Soldier. He had slipped a lethal chemical into the side of her neck without her waking. That's how Hydra always wanted it. Silent. Lethal.

Bucky finally closed his eyes. He pushed away the bad memory and forced himself to sleep.

The next morning was just like the rest of them. Sarah wakes up first to cook breakfast, leaving Bucky in bed. She wakes up James, feeds and changes him. James was starting to walk some. Sarah nearly couldn't pick him up anymore. He was growing up so fast…..

Bucky laid in bed, sprawled out over the space where Sarah had been minutes before. The bed and sheets had her scent and the smell of laundry detergent. He listened to the sound of plates and pots being shuffled around in the kitchen.

"Buck!" she called his name. He felt as if he were in a dream. If it was he didn't want to wake.

"Bucky!" she called again. He opened his eyes reluctantly. When he peeled them open, Sarah's face was above him. She was leaning on the edge of the bed, trying to get him to wake. He smiled up at her gently. She returned it. That familiar warmth swelled inside him again. He loved her. He had quit denying it. She sat there for a long moment. Bucky laid there, taking her in.

"What?" she asked gently, tucking a piece of loose her back into her ponytail.

Bucky wanted to tell her. Fear crept into the back of his mind. _What if she doesn't feel the same?_ _How could she feel the same?_ When he didn't answer her, Sarah leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the brow. Bucky was caught off guard.

"Breakfast is ready," she said pushing herself off the bed. He watched her step into the hall. He had to tell her…

A few minutes later, he padded down the hallway and into the kitchen. Sarah sat at the dining room table beside James' high chair. Bucky walked over to take his seat across from her. Something in his metal arm strained when he went to pull out the chair. It hurt….

He looked up at Sarah, not knowing what to do. She was already looking at him, "What's wrong?" she asked quickly. Bucky looked down to his arm. He wasn't able to move it without pain.

"M-my arm…. "he muttered. Sarah stood quickly and plucked James from his chair.

"Go sit on the couch and let me see…" she said walking around the edge of the table.

He knew that she wouldn't be able to help him but he was willing to let her try. He sat on the couch gently, trying not to move his left arm. The pain was unexplainable… sharp and stabbing that went all the way to his chest. Sarah sat James inside the play pen they had set up the night before. She took a seat next to Bucky. He set his arm on her lap and leaned down so he could attempt to relax.

He brought his other hand to his chest. What was going on? Sarah pushed up his sleeve on his t-shirt, trying to see the issue.

Bucky froze. Something beeped from behind him. His eyes found Sarah's. He bolted from his seat, ignoring the pain in his arm and scooped up James from his play pen.

"Bucky what's-" Sarah started to speak but that's when he heard it. He threw Sarah on the ground, keeping James close to him. An explosion rocked the whole building. With his metal arm, he dug his fingers into the back of the couch and flipped it on top of the three of them, just in time to protect them from the fiery blast. Bucky was knelt over Sarah with the couch crushing down on them. James was wailing. Bucky could feel the heat of the explosion on his back. He was doing all he could do….

He looked down to Sarah, whose face was inches from his. He felt James thrashing in his arms. Sarah's eyes swam with fear. What was going on….?


	19. Chapter 19

Your Choice: Chapter 19

Searing pain ate into Bucky's skin. The floor under them shook. Sarah was wrapped around him and dug his fingernails into his skin. The couch was crushing him. He held it up despite the pain, keeping James in his flesh arm close to him. Bucky held up the couch up until all was silent. Only James' crying and Sarah's sobs could be heard.

"Y-you okay?" Sarah asked him, looking him in the eye as she moved his hair from his face. She put her hands on either side of his head. He looked at her, "I'm fine. What about you?" She nodded tightly, "I-I'm fine…" He knew without a doubt that she was lying but he didn't have time to worry about that. He carefully let James slip from his arms and into Sarah's. The toddler's ears were bleeding on both sides. The sound of the explosion had busted his ear drums. With a grunt, he pushed the couch up and away.

The entire side of the apartment had been blown away. Smoke was pouring out of the back where the master bedroom and nursey had been. Sirens wailed in the distance. Bucky couldn't even pinpoint were the explosion had come from. "Oh my god…." Sarah whispered under her breath, as she looked around them. Bucky stood in the wreckage of what used to be their home. The smell of smoke and gases filled his nostrils. It felt poisonous on his lungs and he coughed roughly. The sirens grew closer. Bucky turned back to Sarah and James, "C'mon, we got to go…" he stooped to help her help her up but she let out a painful whimper. She stumbled back slightly when Bucky pulled her up by her elbow. Bucky watched as tears gathered in her eyes.

"T-take James p-please…" she said through gritted teeth. "I can't get up…" Bucky didn't listen to her as he left James in her arms. He squatted down and slid his hands under her to pick her up, ignoring the pain his metal arm was causing him. Sarah held James tightly, "Buck just take James-"

"I'm not about to leave you here," Bucky cut her off with some strain in his voice. She didn't argue. Bucky stumbled through the debris of the apartment, not sure how to get out. Sarah was more difficult to carry with her holding James. He stepped up to the jagged edge of the apartment rubble and looked below them.

Ambulances, fire trucks and police cars were circling the building. Residents below from floors below them were already stumbling out. Paramedics helped those who ran out and firemen quickly set up ladders to get to the upper floors. Bucky stood on the edge with Sarah and James, waiting for someone to see them through the smoke. A firetruck backed up and a ladder extended up towards them with a man on its end.

The fireman noticed Bucky at the edge of the building wreckage and gestured to his team to move him closer. Bucky could feel relief wash over him as the firemen worked to get to them. Sarah shushed James and tried her best to keep him as calm as possible. Bucky could hear the fireman on the ladder shout something about a baby into his radio he had on his shoulder.

"Everything is gonna be fine, you guys…." The fireman said loudly as he drew closer. "How many you got?"

"Just three!" Sarah answered quickly. The man nodded and focused on anchoring the ladder the edge of the building. Once secure, he gestured to Sarah to hand him James, "Baby first ma'am, then I'll come get you. Are you hurt?"

Sarah reluctantly handed over James and gave him a small nod that she was hurt. Bucky wished internally that she wouldn't lie to him about things like that. The fireman took James into his arms gently and asked for his name. Sarah told him and the fireman smiled and looked at the distraught toddler, "Imma take real good care of ya, okay James?" He gave Bucky and Sarah a reassuring smile and promised he would be right back for them and started down the ladder.

"What's happening, Buck?" Sarah whispered hoarsely and rested her head against his shoulder again. Bucky felt helpless. He didn't have a good answer for her so he stayed silent as they watched James be handed off to the paramedics below them. He adjusted his grip on her, hoping his strength wouldn't fail him. The same fireman began to climb the ladder back up to them.

Bucky handed Sarah to the fireman once he reached the top. He didn't want to give her to him as the fireman took her into his arms and carried her down the ladder. Bucky climbed down behind them, making sure to keep an eye on James and Sarah. Once they reached the ground, Bucky was drowned in an ocean of bloody and panicked people. He lost sight of them the moment his feet hit the pavement. He spun around in circles, staying on his toes to see above the heads of the crowd. He was fighting the urge to panic.

A paramedic clamped a hand on Bucky's shoulder, "Sir, do you need help-"Bucky turned to look at her. She removed her hand quickly once she saw his metal arm. Her eyes grew wide and she took a step back. _She must recognize me_ , Bucky thought to himself. She adjusted her medical bag on her shoulder and backed away into the crowd.

He had to find Sarah and James _. Now_. He set off looking again, focusing his eyes. After what seemed like an eternity of searching, his eyes landed on the paramedic he had ran into moment before. She was leaned over speaking to another medic, occasionally glancing in Bucky's direction. Bucky's hair stood on end. He had a terrible feeling swirling in his gut.

He turned around with new determination. Bucky wanted to kick himself when he finally spotted Sarah sitting in the doorway of an ambulance. She bounced James in her arms as she looked around the crowd. James had cotton stuffed in his ears to stop the bleeding, but he was still crying uncontrollably. Bucky was shoving people aside as he paced to where they sat. A wave of calm rushed over him as he drew closer. Sarah's eyes found his and she somehow was able to smile at him. Bucky felt his heart melt slightly.

He stepped up to her quickly and put his hands to either side of her face, moving pieces of her blonde hair back.

"You're okay?" she asked quickly. Bucky nodded tightly, simply thankful he was reunited with her again. He looked at James, pitting him badly. He looked back to Sarah, "We need to go…."

Sarah leaned in slightly with scrunched eyebrows.

"We aren't safe… We need to get as far from here as we can…" Bucky said through gritted teeth. He tossed a glance over his shoulder, looking for the paramedic.

"Tell me what to do…" Sarah said while looking at James. Her eyes were hard and Bucky could tell she was afraid. "Bucky what do we do?"

He slipped his metal arm around her, "Follow my lead…" she stood to her feet, limping slightly. He led her and James around the front of the ambulance. The people around them were blinded in the flashing lights and sirens. Bucky kept a grip on her, holding her up some. No one stopped them and no one questioned where they were going. _A smooth get away,_ Bucky thought. Just what they needed.


	20. Chapter 20

Your Choice Chapter 20

Bucky kept his metal hand pressed to Sarah's back, leading her away from the smoldering apartment complex. They walked briskly despite Sarah being hurt and limping. Bucky didn't want to push her but they had to get away. James was only whimpering now. Bucky wished he could have let him stay with the paramedics a little longer. Sarah adjusted the cotton that had been stuffed into the toddler's ears and limped along. Bucky was ready to carry her if he needed to.

He steered them into a narrow alley. It grew darker the farther they moved away from the chaos. Bucky wasn't sure what to do next. It was difficult to not have a plan. "Where are we going?" Sarah asked in a low voice. Bucky's mind raced. _Where were they going? Where could they go?_

Suddenly, he had an idea. He took a sharp turn, pulling her with him. "This way," he quipped. He needed a pay phone…. A pistol…..anything! He was mostly concerned about James. His safety was Bucky's top priority.

"We need to take James somewhere…" Sarah said quietly. Bucky nodded in agreement, his hand never leaving her back.

After walking countless blocks, the three of them finally arrived at their destination. Bucky could feel Sarah release a sigh of relief once she saw where they had walked to. They now stood in front of Claire's apartment complex. Bucky nudged Sarah towards the door. James was now sleeping in her arms. Bucky saw flashes of red and blue out of the corner of his eye. A police car was turning the corner with the spot light shining bright. Bucky pushed Sarah a little harder, "Get inside….Now…"

They both stepped through the glass door and into the apartment lobby. They immediately headed for the elevator. Claire lived on the 7th floor. Once inside, Bucky pressed the button almost frantically when he saw the police car pull to a stop outside the door. The doors slid close sluggishly. He looked over to Sarah as the elevator ascended up. She had dark circles under her eyes and tears clinging to her lashes. She was exhausted and honestly, so was he.

He slowly reached out and slipped his metal arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him and let out a helpless sigh.

The elevator doors opened when they reached the 7th floor. Claire's apartment was on the other end of the building. The elevator arrow lit up as it was being summoned back to the first floor. Bucky assumed it was the police officers. "Go," He commanded Sarah. They walked briskly down the hall until the stood in front of Claire's door. Bucky was the one to knock. He wasn't quiet about it either. After Bucky had began to pound on the door, the latch on the other side was loosed and Claire jerked the door open.

"Do you know what time it is? What do you- ….Sarah?" Claire corrected herself immediately when she saw the three of them standing at her doorway. She tied her robe as she shot Sarah a concerned look.

"Can we come it?" Sarah asked in a small voice.

"Of course! C'mon c'mon!" she waved them inside. Bucky was the last to step through.

Claire was the same age as Sarah. She had been a widow ever since her husband, Anthony, was killed in Iraq the year before. She raised her son, Demarcus, all alone. She ran a daycare down the street and helped Sarah with James on a regular basis.

Claire shut the door once Bucky was inside.

"What's going on?" Claire hissed to Sarah.

Sarah adjusted James in her arms and turned to face her friend. "There was an accident…. Our apartment was bombed…I think," she glanced to Bucky for reassurance. Sarah cleared her throat before starting again, "We aren't safe and we need-"

A bang came from down the hall. The muffled voice of a police officer could be heard at a neighbors apartment _," New York Police Department, open up."_ Claire's eyes widened and shot between Sarah and Bucky.

"Please…" Sarah said under her breath. Claire's eyes darted around, trying not to panic.

"Why are the police here? W-what did you do?" Claire asked quickly, holding her hands up.

"We can answer all of that later. _Hide us now_ ," Bucky growled. He loomed over her slightly. Claire nodded tightly at him. She knew good and well who Bucky was and what he could do. She didn't hesitate as she waved them into the bedroom off to the side. Sarah was right behind her.

Claire opened the walk-in closet and gestured them inside. Bucky had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. But Claire stepped inside and swiped a rack of hanging clothes aside. To their surprise, there was a small door behind it. Claire kneeled down and opened it, "Anthony had this installed when we bought this place. It's a panic room."

She inclined her head, "Get in…" Sarah crawled through the small doorway, still holding James. Bucky followed, pausing to look at Claire before going inside.

"Thank you…" he said quietly. She nodded stiffly, "I'll come and get you both later."

Bucky reluctantly ducked inside the small opening. Claire shut and latched the door behind him. To his surprise, the room and larger than he expected. They had about twenty feet to move freely. However the ceiling height left no room to stand. There were 2 sleeping bags, crate of MRE's, 3 gallons of water, First Aid kit and a lantern. Anthony was a true army man.

Sarah had already laid James on a sleeping bag and let him continue to sleep. She leaned up against the wall, her head touching the ceiling of the room. She closed her eyes and let out a small sigh and drew her legs up to her chest. Bucky moved closer to her, being sure to move as quietly as possible.

"I'm impressed…" Bucky whispered to her, speaking about the panic room. She didn't answer him. He sat in front of her and crossed his legs. "How is your ankle?" Bucky whispered. She opened her eyes and looked at him. Tears immediately pooled up and began to flow.

"Buck…. What's happening?" she mouthed to him. Dark circles formed under her eyes hours ago. There was no telling how long it had been since any of them had anything to eat. He didn't even know what time it was….

Bucky picked himself up from where he sat and put himself next to her. He paid no mind the lack of distance between them. He pressed himself against her and wrapped his metal arm around her gently. He didn't know what to tell her. He had just as many questions as she did. She leaned into him without hesitation, burying her face in the nape of his neck. She covered her face with both hands as she tried to suppress her tears.

"Go to sleep," Bucky craned his neck down closer to her. He pushed a strand of hair back into her ponytail with his flesh hand, "Try to sleep… It's been a long day…"

She never answered him but adjusted herself to lean on him more. He wrapped his metal arm around her waist and rested his head on hers. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Within minutes, sleep found them both.


	21. Chapter 21: Stranger Things

Your Choice: Chapter 21

Bucky awoke with a jolt, hitting his head on the ceiling of the small room. Sarah was still leaning over on him. He cursed under his breath and looked down to Sarah. She crawled at her eyes, trying to wake up. They could make out someone walking into the closet and unlatching the door. Claire opened the door and peeked inside. She saw Sarah curled up at Bucky's side and the corners of her mouth flicked up in a smile.

"Cozy, are we? Come on out… They're gone now…" Claire gave them a small smile. James was still sound asleep on the sleeping bags. Sarah and Bucky both agreed it was best to let him continue sleeping. They both crawled out quietly, leaving the little door open so they could hear James if her were to wake.

Once they stood up in the closet, Bucky raised his arms above his head and stretched. He let out a sigh and reached up until something popped. Sarah continued to rub her eyes, wishing she could have slept longer. They both followed Claire into the living room and watched Claire quickly spin on her heels to face them. Demarcus sat in the middle of his play pen, paying nobody any attention.

"Alright," Claire said firmly. "I have a few questions…" she leaned forward and wrapped her fingers around the top of the play pen.

Sarah stood with her arms wrapped around herself. Bucky was at her side with his metal hand draped loosely around her waist. It was something he would have never done normally. The gesture was only for her reassurance. She paid it no attention anyway.

Claire spread her feet and crossed her arms. "The police came to the door asking about a woman and child taken hostage by the Winter Soldier….if that's the case I'm calling them back…" Claire's eyes gazed into Bucky with intense heat. "So first question," she muttered while maintaining eye contact with the assassin across from her. "Sarah….are you his hostage?"

"No," Sarah answered quickly. Claire's eyes shifted to her friend, her expression still as fierce as before. Sarah licked her lips and spoke again," Claire….I'm not." Claire seemed to accept her answer but remained on guard. "Second question…." She began again. "Why are the police looking for you?"

Sarah glanced up to Bucky, not sure how to answer. Bucky took in a small breath," I can't tell you much….Not without putting you in the same danger we are…" he warned. Claire nodded, "Tell me what you can then…."

Bucky ushered Sarah to the couch. They both sat down while Claire took the armchair across from them. Demarcus continued to play with his toys. Bucky explained the mob, without going into much detail. He explained the bomb and the paramedic that saw him. Bucky could see on Claire's face that she did not want to believe him. James began to cry from the small room where they had left him to sleep. Sarah gently pushed herself from the couch to go and get him. When Sarah was out of earshot, Claire leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees," If you have hurt her I swear I will-"

Bucky's hand cut through the air, "I haven't. I wouldn't…" Claire narrowed her eyes and spoke through her teeth in a low tone, "I will keep James and Sarah here….You have to go…" By that time Sarah stepped back into the living room with James in her arms. Relief flooded through Bucky's chest knowing that they would both be safe. Sarah took behind the couch and bounced James on her hip, looking between Bucky and her best friend. Claire stood from where she sat, "You can stay here tonight…" her tone was softer, gentler this time. Sarah quickly stepped around the couch to throw her free arm around her friend in a hug.

"Thank you so much…" Sarah said, trying not to cry. Claire smiled, hugging her back and trying not to squash James. Claire stepped back and brought her hands up to comb James' wild blonde curls. "Why don't you go give him a bath? I'll make something for you guys while you do, okay?" She suggested.

Demarcus was standing over the edge of his crib, reaching out to be held since he noticed James was present. Claire walked over and stooped to pick him up. James started reaching for him and nearly wiggled his way out of Sarah's arms. Claire smiled, "Somebody missed James…."

"Has Demarcus had a bath yet? I can give him one too while James has one…" Sarah suggested. "That sounds like a plan, "Claire said quickly and started down the hallway to help Sarah start a bath for the toddlers. Bucky was left sitting alone on the couch. He pressed his flesh hand to his left shoulder. The sharp pain he had experienced earlier was still there. This was the first opportunity he'd had in hours to remember it.

Claire stepped back into the living room, her heated gaze cutting through Bucky without him realizing it. She walked straight into the kitchen and began pulling out pots and pans to cook with. "You can go freshen up if you want. Third door on the left," She called to him over her shoulder. He remained silent while he forced himself to stand. He lumbered down the hall, his hand still clutching his shoulder. Light poured into the hallway from the bathroom and he could hear shrieking laughter from the kids.

He stepped up to the doorway, taking a moment to look inside. The bathroom was huge. The tub was straight ahead against the wall. Sarah's back was to him as she played with the kids in the bath. There was a glassed-in shower to the right of the tub and a vanity on both sides of the wall. She laughed at the two boys playing in the water. Bucky felt warm inside. He was just glad her and James both were safe.

"Da da!" James shrieked once Bucky catch his eye. Sarah turned to look at him with a smile. Her front was totally soaked from the kids splashing in the tub. Bucky walked over to the tub. The kids had dozens of toys floating around and each a smile on their face. James looked up to Bucky and laughed, happy to be playing with his friend. Bucky knelt beside Sarah, putting his arms up on the side of the tub like she had hers.

He reached down in the water with his flesh hand and flicked water at the kids. They both turned to look at Bucky with smiles and slapped the water around with their hands and feet. Some water escaped the tub, soaking Sarah even more. She looked at Bucky with a crooked smile and he couldn't help but return it.

Bucky let Sarah finish giving Demarcus and James their bath. He stood in front of the vanity now, looking at himself in the mirror. He clawed at his jaw with his metal fingers, wishing he had a razor.

"Hey, Buck?" Sarah said. Bucky turned to look at her. "Could you get James out and dry him off?" She said this as she fished Demarcus from the water and patted him down with a towel. Bucky nodded and walked over to the tub, taking the extended towel from Sarah's hand. She left the bathroom with Demarcus in her arms, leaving Bucky with James.

James was reaching for Bucky, more than ready to be out of the tub. Bucky pushed up his sleeves and pulled him up and into the towel.

"Hey, buddy…you sure are getting big…" Bucky said to James under his breath. Bucky dried his hair quickly and even wiped his nose. His ears had stopped bleeding so Bucky took that as a good sign. "You look just like your dad, you know that?" Bucky said quietly. "Your mom is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, if we're being honest…." James grabbed Bucky's face and giggled. Bucky smiled warmly at James, wondering why he ever thought twice about looking after him when Steve first left. James still wanted to play with Bucky's metal fingers. Bucky didn't mind one bit.

Sarah stood on the over side of the doorway in the hall, listening to what Bucky had to say to James. Her heart had skipped a beat when he said that she was beautiful. Her hand was resting over her chest, not sure what to do. A small smile crossed her lips. She was just glad James would have a dad.


	22. Chapter 22

Your Choice: Chapter 22  
Claire had cooked enough for everyone. After dinner, she made everyone a place to sleep. There was no guest bedroom so Sarah got the couch and Bucky got a pallet on the floor. James shared the crib with Demarcus down the hall. Bucky didn't mind the floor. He knew it could always be worse.

Both Sarah and Bucky laid in their make-shift beds, rolled on their sides to face one another. Sarah's hand hung off the edge of the couch, hoping Bucky would hold it. He did when he noticed it so close to his.

"Hey, Buck?" Sarah whispered in the dark.

"Hmm?" he answered.

"What's our plan? Where are we going to do after tonight?" She asked quietly. _We?_

"My plan was to let you and James stay here…" he said honestly. She didn't like his response and he could feel it. She sat up to look at him, her fingers sliding out of his, "I'm going with you…"

He perched himself up on his elbow to be able to looked her in the eye. He shook his head, knowing there was no point in arguing with her. Her face caught the light from the nearby lamp.

"I know you can do it on your own…" she said gently. "But you don't have to…." She looked at him quickly before looking down. Heat rose to her cheeks. She felt childish.

"James will have to stay here," Bucky said flatly. Sarah nodded in understanding. She didn't want to leave James here but it was the safest place for him. The thought of leaving him brought tears to her eyes. She tried to suppress them as she laid back down on the couch. James was her heart. She covered her face with her hands and let a few loose tears roll down her temple.

Bucky reached up and took her hand, "This is the safest place for him," he said trying to comfort her. She squeezed his fingertips and sniffed hard. He didn't want to leave James either. Bucky had grown fond of him….he loved that kid. He couldn't have loved him any more than if he were his own. He heard once that it was difficult to love another man's children. But Bucky had found it wasn't that hard at all.

It seemed that no one really slept well the night before. Sarah and Bucky woke early and folded up their blankets where that had slept. Bucky had a small memory in the back of his mind of a place where they could go.

"We just need a place to lie low for a little while…" Sarah said taking a mug of coffee from Claire. Claire took a seat on the couch next to Sarah. Sarah was taking any suggestions on where they should go. A small memory swam in the back of Bucky's mind. He stayed quiet and let Claire and Sarah speak.  
"You should head south…" Claire suggested. "They wouldn't chase you down there…"

Both women discussed their ideas of different places. What's easiest to get to? Will they be recognized while trying to leave? Bucky couldn't stop picturing a dark room somewhere in his mind. He could make out a fireplace and small kitchen in the corner. One word came with the memory. _Vermont._ Bucky was convinced that is where they needed to go. He stood quickly, catching the eyes of both Sarah and Claire. "Vermont," Bucky said looking to Sarah. She gave him a puzzled look and sat her cup of coffee on the table next to her.

"Vermont," he repeated, shrugging slightly. "That is where we're going."

"What's in Vermont?" Sarah questioned, pushing herself off the couch. Bucky didn't want to tell her he wasn't sure. He didn't want to tell her that he didn't know. He knew it was a gamble but everything in his gut told him this was the right move to make. He shrugged and held the palms of his hands out, "I just need you to trust me…."

Claire let out an exaggerated sigh. She stood quickly, gathering everyone's empty coffee mugs. It was obvious she didn't agree with Bucky. Sarah watched her friend for a moment before turning back to look at him, "Buck, that's over a 5 hour drive... shouldn't we go farther?"

Bucky shook his head, "Distance doesn't matter. But we do need a way of getting there…"

Sarah's eyes brightened as an idea sprung to memory. She opened her mouth to speak but was so overwhelmed with her own idea, nothing came out. Bucky raised his eyebrows in suspense.

"Do you remember the bikes in the storage space at home? The place in the basement?" She said quickly. Bucky had to think for a long moment but finally recognized where she was coming from. Sarah beamed at herself, proud for suggesting such an idea. For Steve's first birthday with Sarah as a married couple, Sarah had bought Steve a 1940 Indian motorcycle. It was teal with a freshly refurbished leather seat. It had everything you could ever want in an Indian. Steve had hinted several times during the months beforehand about the bike.

Bucky could remember her showing it to him before his birthday. He had to scrap his own jaw off the floor when she pulled the tarp off of the bike. He could remember how excited she was to give it to Steve. He was impressed she was able to even find one in such good condition. Steve's birthday rolled around. Steve and Sarah had dinner reservations to celebrate that night, until Tony called and made a change of plans. Instead of Sarah taking Steve to dinner then giving him her gift, Steve was thrown a blow-out of a party at the Avengers tower.

It seemed that everyone in New York was at the party. Sarah could remember sitting off to the side while at the party, still holding a birthday card she'd bought Steve in her hands. She went home early that night, letting Steve celebrate with his friends, feeling sad that her plans seemed so feeble in comparison to what Stark did. She had intentions of giving the bike to Steve once he got home, but decided against it when she saw how Steve had gotten home. She could recall looking out their apartment window and seeing Steve coming down the street on a brand new Suzuki GSX-R600. Steve's smile could have lit up all of Manhattan. He never mentioned their plans from earlier that evening. Everything was closed because of how late it was anyway.

"Isn't it great?" He said combing confetti from his blonde hair. "Everyone chipped in! They said it's not every day you turn 99 years old!" The Suzuki made the Indian look like a sad copycat. The Indian was rolled into storage, where it sat for 2 years. The Suzuki eventually followed once Steve realized he didn't need it.

Sarah forced herself into the present. Bucky stood in front of her, waiting for her to explain.

"The Indian and the Suzuki both are there…those are our ride to Vermont…" She clarified. Bucky nodded and gave her a small smile, "Sounds like a plan…"


	23. Chapter 23

You guys are awesome. 3

Your Choice: Chapter 23

Sarah and Bucky left Claire's right after the sun came up. They tried to make their goodbyes short, but Sarah struggled with hers when it came to James. They didn't bother to wake him, knowing he'd cry if he saw them leaving. Sarah leaned into the crib and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and fought back tears. It pained Bucky to watch her leave him.

Both of them slid on a baseball cap, tucking their hair into it and hoping they wouldn't be seen. Home was only a few blocks away, but with the bombing, police had it grid-locked. Getting in would be extremely difficult.

They stepped onto the street. Traffic was already standing still in the eight o'clock rush. Bucky pulled the hat down low over his eyes, "Follow my lead." He knew the game well. Bucky could slip out of sight any time he wanted to. He could fall off the map in a heartbeat. Decades as the Winter Soldier had made the art of stealth second nature. Hopefully Sarah would be quick to catch on.

Sarah stayed close, keeping her head low as they walked causally down the sidewalk. Bucky's eyes constantly scanned the people they passed. People strode past. Women walked their dogs, men swung their briefcases around while trying to catch a cab. Oblivious teens would bump shoulders with them and never miss a step. No one seemed to suspect. He wished he had his backpack… It made him feel safer, more prepared. He usually always kept a knife or pistol on hand, just in case. Now, they were both empty- handed and defenseless. How was he supposed to protect Sarah or himself?

They walked no more than two blocks when Bucky noticed the police cars. Traffic cones and signs blocked off the streets surrounding their apartment complex. Bucky steered Sarah straight with his hand on her elbow, "Keep going…."

They kept their pace and went down another block but the streets and sidewalk traffic was blocked off as well. Bucky tugged on Sarah's sleeve and pulled her to the side in front of a sandwich shop. She pressed her back up against the brick and looked up to Bucky. He put his arm to the wall above her and leaned in close, giving the impression they were a couple. She was doing well.

"What now?" Sarah asked under her breath. Bucky threw a sideways glance both ways down the sidewalk, not caring that they were blocking walking space.

"I'm thinking…" he muttered. Sarah looked to their left and noticed a pair of police officers walking towards them. "Think faster, Buck…" she said through gritted teeth. They were drawing closer. Bucky leaned in close, his mouth hovering right by her ear. Sarah's face grew molten. "When they go past, "Bucky pressed into her hair, "Turn into the alley there. Ready? Go."

As the officers stepped past, Bucky and Sarah ducked into the alley way around the corner. Bucky had Sarah by the arm, gently pulling her along. They strode to the other end of the alley, weaving over and around trash bins and loose garbage bags.

"Stop here," Bucky said shortly. He squatted down between two dumpsters and gestured for Sarah to do the same.

"Okay," He looked both ways before looking to Sarah. "We're going to wait here until dark." Sarah shot him a quizzical look. He licked his lips quickly before starting an explanation. She wasn't like Steve. She couldn't go into a situation without knowing the details of a plan. Bucky was used to being followed somewhat blindly.

"The only way we are getting back inside is through the roof," Bucky explained as he sat down on the pavement. He leaned up against the raw brick wall of the building, "We can climb the fire escape after dark and jump the gap to the next building." He pointed to the fire escape above their heads. He made it seem so easy.

"Gap?" Sarah repeated. "How big of a gap?" She was never one to scare easily. She didn't fear much, except for heights. Bucky pulled his hat down farther and shimmed farther down the wall, "Not too big. No big deal…" He said crossing his arms over his chest. He closed his eyes, hoping to go to sleep.

"Are you going to sleep? Here?" Sarah said leaning forward to see his eyes under his hat.

"Yeah. We've got all day and I've slept in worse," He said coolly. Sarah felt a pang of guilt in her chest, regretting saying anything at all. She let herself slip into a sitting position next to Bucky. She drew her knees up to her chest. The dumpsters made the air smell foul. Flies and bugs circled their heads. Sarah pulled her hat low and let her eyes slip shut.

She never thought she would be able to sleep in a back alley again. It turned out not to be as difficult as she originally thought.

Bucky never moved. He sat frozen in place for the next few hours, dead asleep. He'd found that he was able to sleep nearly anywhere. Planes, trains, cars, under bridges, back alleys, and even cemeteries. After being freed from Hydra, Bucky never complained about where he would lay his head down at night. If it meant being free of Hydra's control, he would do whatever it took.

Sarah had only slept in an alley once before. She and her father were kicked out of their home when she was 14 years old. Some neighbor down the hall accused her father of breaking into adjacent apartments and stealing medications. She never wanted to believe it, but as she grew older, she came to her own conclusions. It was January when they were turned out of the apartment. Snow drifted in the wind but never stuck to the ground since all the pavement had been salted.

She could remember having a trash bag full of her things tossed over her shoulder. Her father carried another bag and a small suitcase.

"You listen here," Her father said to her over his shoulder. She followed him down the sidewalk, shoulders drawn up from the cold and tried to keep up with him. He shuffled down the slick pavement, his stride weighted down by the load on his back. "This old world is mean. Nobody owes you a thing. People are gonna kick you while you're down. I just want you to remember somethin'," he turned to look at her. Just a fleeting glance. "Don't let them people see that they get to ya." For the first time ever, Sarah saw tears streaming down her father's face.

She never told Bucky that. She doubted she ever would. That night Sarah and her father slept in an alleyway, sitting close together like penguins in a snow storm. She recalled every detail of that night as she moved closer to rest her head of Bucky's shoulder. He never moved away, he liked her being so close to him.

Hours slipped by before Bucky cracked an eye open. It was dark in the alley where they sat. Sarah was slumped up against him, sleeping lightly.

"Hey," He muttered to Sarah, shaking his shoulder slightly. She sat up slowly and took in a sharp breathe. She rubbed her eyes and looked at him. "Time to go," he said forcing his feet under him to stand.

Sarah stood and brushed off her pants, ready to follow him. Bucky looked both ways down the alley before stepping out from behind the dumpsters. They were both silent while he listened. Only car horns and the noise of the city could be heard with nothing out of the ordinary.

"C'mon," Bucky quipped to Sarah and he strode into the open. He made his way around the dumpster where the fire escape scaled up the building to the roof. The ladder was well above their heads but it proved not to be a problem for Bucky.

He jumped, grabbing the end of the ladder and pulling himself up. Once he stood on the landing he looked down to Sarah, "Jump up." She couldn't help but purse her lips, "You make it sound easy…" She squatted slightly and jumped, hooking the ladder with her fingers. After much effort, she managed to pull herself up onto the landing. She looked to Bucky, trying hard to hide how hard she was breathing.

"Good," Bucky said quickly as the corners of his mouth curled in a small smile. He turned and began to ascend the stairs. There were at least fifteen sets of switchbacks to climb. It didn't take long.

Bucky clawed over the concert ledge and planted his feet into the gravel-covered roof. He turned to check on Sarah, who was right behind him. He scanned the horizon of the city. The breeze was stronger up here. Right in front of them was the adjacent rooftop to their apartment complex. The gap he had told Sarah about earlier was twenty feet.

"Bucky… I can't jump that…" He heard Sarah mutter behind him. He turned to look at her. Her face was pale as she stared at the space between the buildings. "I-I can't do that….I won't ….There has to be another way-""Do you want to get caught?" Bucky said cutting her off. "If we go any other way, we will be. You have to jump it…"

Fear swam in her eyes. Bucky walked across the length of the rooftop. He paused where he stood to glance at Sarah, "Just do as I do…"

Without another thought, he launched himself forward in a sprint. He managed to take several long strides before pushing himself from the edge of the building and into the air. He was only airborne for moments before his feet hit the rooftop of the apartment building. He tucked into a roll, slinging gravel, before standing back on his feet.

Sarah stood 20 feet away from him, knowing she could never duplicate what she just saw him do. He turned to look at her on the roof opposite from him and waved her on. She slowly backed away from the ledge, wringing her hands anxiously.

"I-I can't do it, Buck…" She said loud enough for him to hear. Bucky stepped closer to the adjacent ledge and held out his arms, "Jump! I'll catch you, I swear…"

Sarah was backing away slowly, "Buck I can't…." She wasn't a super soldier. She wasn't an assassin, she was just a normal person. "I'm not like you…. I can't do it."

Bucky looked at her fiercely, arms still extended out. "You have to trust me," he said firmly. "You _can_ do it. I will catch you, but you have to trust me…"

Sarah stood frozen with her eyes locked with Bucky's. The wind whipped several strand loose from her ponytail. She looked at him while combing the hair from her face. Courage struck her like a lightning bolt. She started taking more steps backwards until the heels of her shoes hit the opposite ledge of the roof. She bit her lip and didn't question what she was about to do. She broke into a run. She pumped her arms hard and forced herself off the rooftop. She jumped.


	24. Chapter 24

Your Choice: Chapter 24

She jumped. Bucky stood his ground, arms still open, ready to catch her. And she trusted him to.

Bucky hand braced himself the best he could. His left arm extended out farther, ready to take more of the weight than his flesh arm. She crashed into him, forcing them both to tumble backwards. More gravel was slung as they rolled to a halt. Sarah was wide eyed and breathing hard, "I can't believe I just did that…" she managed between breaths.

"I said you could do it didn't I?" Bucky said quietly as he stood. "Keep your head low. I'm sure this place is on surveillance. "He brought his metal hand up and placed a finger over his mouth. Sarah nodded in understanding. He turned, staying low and walking fast, with Sarah close behind. The apartment always had a roof access.

The street below was illuminated with the red and blue lights from police cars and fire trucks. The entire apartment complex was shut down from the street level. From what Bucky could tell, nobody remained inside the building. He forced the door open on the roof access, nearly jerking it off the hinges in the process. He waved Sarah inside. She did as signaled with little hesitation.

Bucky could hear the sound of helicopters in the distance. The apartment was under surveillance even from the sky. Just one more thing he and Sarah would have to be cautious of. Bucky followed Sarah inside, trying his best to fit the door back into the frame to make it look normal. After a moment of struggling, he left it how it was and led Sarah down the staircase to the top floor of the complex. The entire building was pitch black. Bucky guided himself and Sarah with one hand sliding down the length of the wall. Obviously the power had been shut off.

Only the sounds of their footsteps could be heard as they stepped into the hallway of the top floor. The complex was only five stories tall and Sarah's apartment was on the fourth floor. If the apartment was heavily guarded, they would have to bypass it and head straight for the basement. There were several things Bucky needed from the closet. He pictured his backpack in the back of his mind. He'd carried it everywhere for years while he was on the run. He'd only had a handful of months of a somewhat normal life. Now he was back on the run. And this time he had dragged Sarah into it somehow.

They had made their way down another flight of stairs to the fourth floor. Bucky could already see flashlights and hear voices from down the hall. Sarah was pressed close to him, trying to stay as close as possible. Bucky quietly pushed the entrance door open and peeked down the hall. Their apartment sat on the opposite end of the hallway. He could see rubble that had spilled from the explosion strewn around. Men in hazmat suits kicked over chunks of drywall, shining flashlights around as if they were searching for something or someone. Bucky shut the door quietly and turned back to Sarah.

"What do you need from the apartment?" he asked quietly. Sarah shot him a quizzical look, "I-I don't think I need anything…..Why? Do you?" He nodded tightly, hoping it would be a sufficient answer.

"What is it that you need?" She questioned. He didn't want to tell her that it was his backpack. He didn't want to tell her what was in it that made it so irreplaceable. He looked back out the door, "Just a few things that could come in handy…" He said quickly.

"When I say run, I want you to run to the apartment," Bucky said to Sarah. He snaked his arm around the door frame and picked up a piece of drywall with his left hand. Sarah shook her head," Buck, they'll see me-"He turned quickly to look at her, "When I say run, you run. Don't worry about them…" He said in a more commanding tone. She was scared. It was written all over her face and Bucky could see it. He stared at her hard, still clutching the piece of drywall in his left hand. He wanted to speak. She sat there, waiting for him to make his move. He took in a deep breath, and without warning, pushed the door open and chunked the drywall slab down the hall. It crashed into something down into the darkness.

The men in the hazmat suits shined their flashlights down the hall and let out a yelp. "Did you hear that?!" Three men that stood around the apartment opening took off down the hallway with flashlights in hand.

" _Run,"_ Bucky hissed. Sarah was through the door and down the hall more quickly than Bucky expected. He followed behind her, keeping a wary eye on the men down the way. Sarah ducked inside what was left of the apartment through the gaping opening the explosion had left. She had maneuvered her way into the back of the apartment before Bucky could catch up. The master bedroom had suffered much damage because of the bomb. Furniture laid in pieces and papers flew around in the air that flowed from the open hole towards the ceiling. That's where Bucky finally caught up to her.

She stood frozen in the middle of the bedroom, her hands drawn up to cover her mouth. Her eyes were glazed over as she suppressed the urge to cry. Their home was destroyed. Bucky paused at the bedroom door, letting her have a moment. Pictures tumbled across the floor in front of him. He quickly stepped down on one to keep it from flying to the street below.

He carefully knelt down and picked it up. It was a picture of Sarah when James was born. She was lying in the hospital bed, holding her newborn in her arms and looking at him lovingly. Her hair was stringy and tangled and wore a weary smile. Bucky silently tucked the photo into his pocket as he stepped up behind Sarah. He placed his arm around her. "Get what you can find. Let's make it quick…" He said in a low tone.

He slipped around her carefully, heading towards what was left of the bed. Sarah stepped off into the closet with intentions of grabbing them both some clothes. Bucky dropped to his knees beside the bed and reached under it. He felt around with his fingertips until he found what he was looking for. He reached a little farther and dragged out the backpack he had been worried about. However the contents spilled out as he pulled it into his lap. Notebooks and loose papers slipped out and Bucky quickly started to gather them up.

Every notebook had a title. He wrote down all of his memories in them. Each memory fell into a category of a certain notebook. He had one for Hydra, one for Steve, one for his childhood, and even one for Sarah. There were a least a dozen different notebooks. He held the one he had made for Sarah in his hands as he rearranged the contents of the bag to make room for more.

"Does that have my name on it?" Sarah's voice caught him off guard. He looked at her like a deer caught in headlights before scrabbling to shove the notebook into the backpack. He never answered her. "Got what you need?" He asked gruffly.

She nodded, holding out the clothes she gathered, "Got us both two sets."

Bucky reached up and took the clothes from her, stuffing them into the backpack with his notebooks. He stood quickly, sliding the backpack onto his shoulders. He could feel her eyes on him, "Basement…" he said quickly.

Before he could say another word, footsteps could be heard in the apartment. Bucky stood at attention. Sarah whirled around to look at the doorway, seeing light approaching the bedroom. She looked back at Bucky, certain this time they'd be caught. Buck looked around quickly, he could hear the static from their walkie-talkies as they approached.

On the far side of the room, the explosion had blown a hole in the floor. Bucky reached out, snatching Sarah up and pulling her into him. He took three large steps and stepped off through the hole in the floor, taking Sarah with him, and plummeted into the darkness below.


	25. Chapter 25

Your Choice: Chapter 25

Steve awoke with as if he were being brought to the surface of a body of water. His surroundings were foggy and he could feel someone's hands on his shoulders, shaking him. He peeled his eyes open, unable to remember where he even was. A distant voice was calling him, " _Cap!" Were they home? Were they not needed to fight Thanos? Could they go back?_

 _"Steve! Steve, c'mon man wake up!"_

Steve's vision finally cleared to reveal Tony Stark's face hovering above him. Tony was shaking him almost violently. Steve curled his fingers around the edge of the cryo-pod, "Wha- What's happening?" Steve forced the words out. Tony released his grip on his friend, "S-something went wrong… I was woken as if we were already at the jumping point but we aren't."

Steve forced himself to sit up, blinking hard in the process. Tony continued, "We've only been under 3 months, Rogers. That's like a few hours for us. Something isn't right…" Tony's words weren't sinking in. Steve clawed at his face, "Wait…what?"

Tony was to be the first one to be woken from cryo-sleep once they reached the jumping point. Tony would then wake everyone else to make the final jump. Steve focused in on Tony, "Where is everyone else? Didn't you wake them?"

Tony took a step back, flinging his arms up in frustration, "That's what I'm trying to tell you! I haven't woken anyone else because we ARE NOT, and I repeat, ARE NOT at the jumping point." Steve's brow furrowed, "Why not?" Tony spun in a small circle, straining at Steve's lack of understanding. Tony shuffled closer, his hands hanging in the air hoping to get his point across. "Listen up, Rogers. We are not where we are supposed to be… We are far from it. I woke you first….I woke you because I don't know what to do…"

Steve couldn't suppress a small, surprised smile. Tony rolled his eyes. "Tony Stark woke me up first, because he doesn't know what to do?" Steve muttered. Tony turned away sharply, "Forget this. I'm waking up Bruce…."

Bucky and Sarah had scrambled their way down to the basement of the apartment complex. The entrance to the basement was probably the loudest door Bucky had ever heard. The basement was as long as the building itself with a garage door on the opposite end. Sarah was now leading the way, guiding him towards her and Steve's storage room. She walked in the open, but quietly. Each storage unit was gated and locked. Each gate had a number. Sarah and Steve's was number 13.

Sarah padded down the walkway until she found it. "Right here…" she said softly. Bucky stood behind her as she took the lock in her hand, "Uh oh…" she said. Bucky stepped closer, "What?"

Sarah turned to look at him, "I forgot the combination…"

Bucky couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes as hard as possible. "Here," he muttered as he took the lock into his left hand. He flexed his arm and bit his lip, crushing the lock between his metal fingers. The shards fell to the floor as Sarah let the gate swing open, "I knew you'd come in handy." She cut him a small smile, stepping ahead of him.

The first thing Bucky noticed were the motorcycles. The Indian and the Suzuki sat parked side by side. "Just like I said…" Sarah said as she moved a box aside with her foot. She began to move boxes and totes around, "There is a trunk over here with a few sets on leather jackets we could use." Bucky stepped in, taking boxes from her and stacking them to the side. After 4 boxes, Sarah was able to reach the trunk.

She opened it and began to drag out its contents. She held up a black leather jacket, "That would fit you…" She tossed it to Bucky, who caught it effortlessly. He shed his backpack and let it fall to the floor to pull the jacket over his shoulders. Sarah continued to drag more clothes from the trunk. She held up another leather jacket that was identical to the one she handed Bucky but smaller.

She tossed Bucky pants, boots and even a helmet. He turned away from Sarah as they both quickly changed into the clothes Sarah had found. After a few moments, Bucky finished dressing and turned back to face her. She had just finished zipping the leather jacket over her chest. Bucky nearly had to scrape his jaw off the floor.

"I always hated wearing this…. Steve bought them thinking we would take rides together. Then I got pregnant…" Sarah looked up to him, "What?" The motorcycle gear was solid black leather that clung to her curves in the most flattering way. Bucky could feel himself growing red. She looked down and inspected herself, "Oh yeah…we match!" she looked back up to him and cracked a smile. Bucky never inspected his own gear to see that they matched. "Oh… yeah..." he squeaked out.

He dropped down to open his backpack, hoping to gain control over himself. He dug around the clothes and notebooks until he came across the pistols he had shoved in the bottom months ago. He pulled both out, sitting up straight to pull the clip out and inspect how many rounds each one had. He held one of the pistols to Sarah, "Here…"

"Would these help?" she asked before taking the gun from Bucky. Bucky looked up to see her holding a gun holster in each hand. "Actually…yes," he said somewhat surprised. He took one from her and watched her carefully slip the holster on and buckle it around her sides. She then took the pistol from him and slipped it under her arm. He quickly did the same.

"We need to get going…" Bucky reminded her. She nodded, "I know the pass code to open the garage door." Bucky had already began to push the Suzuki out of the gate and towards the door. Sarah pushed the Indian behind him reluctantly. He turned back to glance at her and noticed her shaky grip on the handle bars as she pushed. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Just nervous…" She confessed in a small voice. Bucky stopped pushing the Suzuki, "You've never driven that thing have you?"

Sarah's eyes grew wide, "No! No! I have! But just not to _Vermont_ …." Bucky pursed his lips as he went back to pushing the bike to the door. He didn't know how much experience Sarah had around motorcycles. Knowing the distance they had to go made him nervous. It was at least a 6 hour drive. And that is with no complications. But nothing was ever simple….

They both paused at the door. Sarah swung a leg over the Indian and readjusted the holster around her shoulder. Bucky set the kick stand down on the Suzuki and stepped over to her. "This is the brake. That's the clutch. If you stall out, don't panic," He explained to her. She nodded, listening intently. His flesh hand was resting gently on her thigh, "You're gonna follow me, okay? Keep your helmet on and do not leave my sight." She looked up to him, panic suddenly gripping her, "What if we get separated?"

Bucky pulled on his helmet, "We won't. I'm gonna be keeping an eye on you." He turned to mount the Suzuki when Sarah grabbed his left hand. "Buck, wait…" She pulled him back by his metal fingertips. She reached up and grabbed either sides of his helmet. She quickly pulled him down to press a quick kiss to the forehead of the helmet.

She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. The helmet kept Bucky's small smile hidden as he tossed a leg over the Suzuki. Both motorcycle engines roared to life. Sarah walked the bike up next to Bucky's, carefully typing in the pass code to the garage door before slipping her own helmet on. Neither of them could hear the door opening over the sound of the engines. Sarah's thoughts were spinning in her head. She caught a glance from Bucky as the door slowly opened. His gaze was piercing. It gave her a spark of courage. He rived his engine and gave Sarah a tight nod before roaring off into the street. Sarah was right behind him.


	26. Chapter 26

Your Choice: Chapter 26

Sarah was white-knuckling the handle bars on the Indian as she tried to maintain control. Before the tires of the bike ever hit the road, both Sarah and Bucky noticed the lights from police cars down the street. Bucky had hoped they would make a stealthy getaway. But with the surveillance the complex was under, it would be impossible to miss two motorcycles leaving the basement garage. Bucky picked up speed, taking off down the street. Sarah clung to the bike with her legs and followed behind him.

Almost immediately, sirens began to wail behind them. Bucky tossed a glance over his shoulder to see 2 police cars beginning to follow. Bucky could lose them with ease, but he had Sarah to look out for this time. He veered around rows of stopped cars at the red light of the intersection ahead, hoping Sarah could pull the same maneuver. He made a sharp right, cutting off a city bus in the process. The bus blared its horn at the two of them as they made the turn. The police cars weren't able to make the turn quick enough, but continued down to the next block.

 _If we can make it out of Manhattan, we're in the clear_ , Bucky thought to himself. He caught himself continuously glancing behind to check on Sarah. Occasionally, the Indian would wobble under her, but she somehow would manage to straighten it out again. He was starting to doubt whether Vermont was too far of a drive. _No_ , he told himself. _Vermont or bust_. Sirens wailed in the distance ahead. Police cars were swarming behind them.

Bucky couldn't help but think about the last time he was in a situation like this. He remembered when the CIA flushed him out of his small apartment in Romania, where he had hidden for 2 years. Steve tried to help by warning him but everything always had to end in a fight. Bucky had kicked some poor guy off his motorcycle trying to get away. Everyone was scared of the Winter Soldier. But not Steve. And not Sarah.

Steve and Bucky had always had each other's backs. They always would. They never had any trouble with one keeping up with the other. _But this situation isn't like being with Steve…_ Bucky thought quickly. He checked on Sarah again and was almost blinded by police lights in the process. Sarah wasn't a super soldier. She wasn't an assassin and she was quick to point that out. She was ordinary. It wasn't a bad thing, in fact, sometimes Bucky would catch himself being jealous of it. She had a sharp tongue at times and a quick thinker. She was a hell of a cook and hell of a mom.

She didn't need super soldier serum. She was capable of anything just how she is.


	27. Chapter 27

It didn't take Bucky long to see a route to outrun the police. The advantages to being on motorcycles were numerous, only if you knew how to drive one. Bucky was still concerned with Sarah being able to keep up with him but so far she wasn't having much trouble. The helmet he was wearing made it difficult to look over his shoulder. He normally didn't wear one but in the past he never had to option.

Bucky accelerated forward towards an intersection. He could make out the muffle sounds of car breaking hard as he cut through the lanes between vehicles with Sarah close behind. He made a sharp left, cutting off a semi-truck in the process. The truck blared its horn as it nearly overturned its trainer to miss the motorcyclists. The truck had taken up all four lanes of traffic, blocking the police cars from following. Bucky knew it would only buy them a few more moments.

Sarah clung to the motorcycle with her thighs, hanging on for dear life. She'd only driven a motorcycle once…. But she would never admit that to Bucky. She had driven it home from the dealership where she had bought it for Steve. That was it. She was scared of course. Mostly for Bucky and James. Sarah knew James was safer with Claire but she couldn't help but ask herself if that was the only option. The helmet she was wearing kept her from seeing too much. She could only make out Bucky flying around cars a few yards ahead of her. But other than that, she was nearly blind.

Cars honked and skidded to a stop as Bucky and Sarah flew past. Bucky was pushing the bike to the limits without leaving Sarah behind. He wanted to put as much distance as he could between them and the police as possible.

Bucky squinted his eyes, already planning the next turn when he noticed three police on motorcycles pull around the corner nearly 4 blocks ahead.

"Shit," He said through gritted teeth. He took a right, cutting off more traffic in the process. The police motorcycles sirens began to wail as they gained speed. Sarah tried her best to glance over her shoulder but quickly put her eyes forward when the bike wobbled under her. The police had caught up and were only feet away from Sarah. One officer flew past her to catch up with Bucky. The officer only rode beside him a moment before Bucky sat forward on his bike and reared back with his leg, kicking the poor officer off his motorcycle completely.

Sarah swerved to avoid the toppling motorcycle and its rider as it caused another officer to flip his bike. At this point, the final officer was riding beside Sarah and attempting to speed up. She could see that he was trying to get to Bucky. The officer carefully reached for his holster on his hip and pulled out his pistol. It was when he aimed it at the back of Bucky's head when Sarah could see what was about to unfold.

Without thinking, Sarah whipped her pistol from her own holster and shot the front tire out from under the officer's motorcycle. The recoil from the gun nearly flung the weapon from her grip. She swerved slightly, taking a mirror off a parked car. The police bike flipped forward, slinging its rider to the road. Sarah didn't even want to look back and the bike flipped backwards.

The game was changed from that point forward. These people weren't hunting Bucky to capture him alive. They were now in more danger than before.

Bucky had heard the crash behind him. Panic surfaced and he desperately looked over his shoulder to make sure it wasn't Sarah. He was able to catch a glance of her re-holstering her pistol and allowed himself to take a breath. Traffic was thinning out as they approached the city limits. Bucky knew avoiding trouble wouldn't be as hard once they made it out of New York. The helmets they wore would have kept their faces hidden, keeping them from being plastered all over the news.

If needed, Bucky could leaving Sarah some place safe since no one knew her face. Everyone would know the Winter Soldier. They didn't need to see his face, just the name made mothers pull their children a little closer. Bucky noticed the way people looked at him on the street. He'd be lying if he said he didn't. But he found every moment of his time in public full of shame. The looks and harsh words he received by complete strangers made him wish Stark could have killed him back when the Accords were being reviewed.

Sometimes he wished he'd never woken up when he stepped back into the cryo-freeze in Wakanda.

But Steve was always there to help take care of things. Steve could defuse a situation with a smile. But this time it was different. _Steve isn't going to be around to bail you out this time_ , Bucky told himself. _And now you've gone and dragged his ex-wife into it._ Bucky pushed the thoughts aside and tried to focus on the matter at hand. He could leave Sarah if the situation worsened. She could deny having anything to do with him. He could just disappear like he has done in the past. She could continue living her life and raise James.

But secretly, if the time came, Bucky hoped Sarah would want him to stay.


	28. Chapter 28

Sarah now understood the danger that Bucky was in. The officer nearly shooting him made it obvious. They had just made it out of New York. It was extremely quiet and dark with the exception of a few passing vehicles bright headlights. Their drive was effortless for the next 2 hours.

It was late when Bucky noticed the gas station up ahead. He began to slow, knowing he and Sarah both needed to refuel. The gas station was small with only two pumps. One of which didn't work. Sarah slowed down and pulled to a stop beside Bucky. They both removed their helmets, taking in a breath of fresh air. Bucky looked to Sarah, whose hair was wild and tangled from the ride. "Are you okay?" he asked her. She nodded tightly, "Are you?" Bucky confirmed that he was.

"Buck, they tried to shoot you…" She said breathlessly. Bucky sat frozen on the Suzuki, "What?"

Sarah licked her bottom lip," The police on the motorcycles…. They tried to shoot you…That's when I shot the tire out from under him." Bucky didn't answer for a long time.

"Well," he began, "I guess we need to fuel up and keep going." He tossed a leg over the motorcycle and walked around to where Sarah sat. He shed his backpack off his shoulders and sat the bag on the gas tank in front of her. He fished out a cigarette carton from the bottom of the bag. Sarah shot him a look, "I didn't know you smoked…"

"I don't," he answered, opening the carton to reveal rolls of cash, all in different currencies. He pulled out a twenty and stuffed the carton back in the bag, "Stay here. I'm gonna go pay…" Sarah sat alone with the two motorcycle for several minutes. She watched their surroundings closely.

Inside the gas station, Bucky walked by the coolers and grabbed two cokes. It was a small place but well kept. An elderly man sat behind the register as Bucky slipped the money onto the counter. "Just these and the rest can go on pump 1…" Bucky muttered.

The old man popped the register open. "Certainly, son. Will that be all?" the old man asked. "Yes, sir…" Bucky took the cokes off the counter and headed towards the door. "Isn't it a little late for you and the misses to be on a ride, son?" the old man called after him. Bucky paused in the doorway, "Yes, sir. We're actually headed home now." Bucky didn't want to make a scene.

"Oh good!" the man smiled at him, "You kids get home safe!" Bucky gave him a small smile and stepped outside. Sarah had already started filling Bucky's bike, not paying him much attention as he approached. "Here," Bucky held out a coke to her. "Thank you, "She beamed at him and took the drink. They sat in silence for a few moments, filling the bikes and sipping on their drinks.

"You know they tasted better in back in the 40's…" Bucky muttered as he looked down at his bottle. Sarah took another sip, "There you go again. Did you walk to school uphill both ways too?" She shot him a warm smile. He couldn't suppress his own smile after that. Once fueled up, they both mounted their bikes. "About 3 more hours to go…" Bucky said before slipping his helmet on.

"Do you even know where we're going?" Sarah asked quickly with slight strain in her voice. Bucky had cranked the Suzuki already. He turned to look at her and simply shrugged before pulling away from the pump.

(Avenger Mission)

Tony Stark was hunched over the control pad of the ship. Steve stood by his side, not sure how to help him. Stark hadn't bothered waking anyone else up from hyper-sleep. "We haven't been under that long, Rogers…" Tony muttered. "And from what I see here, we don't have enough fuel to drift all the way to the jumping point…Don't even asked me how the hell it happened because I don't even know. Someone's math was off…" Stark flung his hands in the air and looked over at his friend. Steve kept a straight face, knowing Tony would only feed off his reaction.

"What do we need to do?" Steve said flatly. Tony clawed at his hair, "Well if we had a hamster wheel you could run…. I'm kidding…kidding…" Stark was quiet for a long moment with his arms crossed over his chest. "We got to jump now…" He said finally.

Steve looked at him with unease, "Now? Is that even possible?" Tony shrugged, "You're guess is as good as mine, pal." Steve took a long breath, "I think you should probably wake up Bruce….This seems more in his wheelhouse."

(Sarah and Bucky)

Bucky was driving on a hazy memory. A ghost of a thought, nothing more. He only remembered a small dark room, and the word _Vermont._ He knew Sarah was skeptical of their destination. He couldn't even guarantee the place would be there. But it was better than staying put in Manhattan. He drove slowly this time, making sure he didn't make it too hard for Sarah to keep up. Along their route, buildings were traded for tall cedars and oaks. Less cars passed them in the opposite lanes. It was the closest thing to peacefulness that both Sarah and Bucky had in a week.

They'd been on the road again for about another 2 hours. Bucky decided that it was time to stretch their legs for a moment. He pulled over onto a gravel overlook and turned off the motorcycle. Sarah parked by his side. "Are my thighs supposed to be sore or is that just me?" she asked and she slipped off her helmet.

Bucky pulled his off and sat it on the gas tank. He couldn't help but look up into the sky, noticing the stars. You couldn't see them from Manhattan. There was always too much light pollution. Bucky wasn't quite sure where they were on the map but the sky was completely clear.

"Oh wow…" Sarah breathed as she looked up. She stepped away from her bike and paced towards the overlook. It was too dark to see the landscape below, but they were both too busy looking up anyhow. Bucky took a few steps in her direction, still gazing up.

"It's something, isn't it?" she said in a low tone. "Mhmm," Bucky answered as he stepped in front of her. They stood in silence for a long time. All they could hear was the wind and the occasional cricket in the background. When Sarah lowered her gaze, Bucky stood closer than she expected. Her heart started to pound. She could feel her face turning molten. It wasn't until Bucky looked her in the eye when she stopped breathing for a moment.

She'd felt like this for weeks. She had always pushed the feeling aside, reminding herself that this was Steve's best friend. But here he was, standing toe to toe with her. _Why does it matter?_ She asked herself. _There's no harm in it!_ Her thoughts were swirling inside her head. Warmth ignited in her chest, "Buck…. Can I tell you something?"

She already had his full attention. What was he doing? _This is Steve's ex-wife_ …. He reminded himself. _Well Steve said he approved already_ …. _But what if she doesn't love me back?_ His heart raced and throbbed in his ears.

Sarah tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "I-I know this is going to sound really stupid but- I don't know if I should even be talking about this…" Bucky was hanging on every word, "It's not stupid, just tell me…"

Sarah forced the words out, "Over the past few months you've been living with me and James… I like having you there. Like REALLY like it. And….I think….I think that I'm …falling… for …you…" The last few words were the most difficult. Something inside Bucky flipped with enthusiasm. His eyes widened and Sarah prepared herself for the let-down.

"R-really?" Bucky stammered. "Are you kidding?"

Sarah could feel the insults coming down the pipeline… She kept the tears at bay. "No-no….I'm not…" she breathed out. Bucky reached out gently and slipped his arm around her waist, "Sarah, listen….I-"

"NEW YORK POLICE DEPARTMENT PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"

A flood light shined down from a helicopter above them. " _Shit_ ," Bucky hissed. He grabbed Sarah's hand a towed her with him as he took off running. " _Get on! Run! Get the hell out of here!"_ He shouted commands at her. She scrambled onto her bike and yanked the helmet over her head.

"WE WILL SHOOT! STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLES"

Without hesitation, both Bucky and Sarah fired up the bikes and spun out of the lot, slinging gravel behind them. The helicopter followed close behind, keeping the light on them. Bucky hadn't bothered to put on his helmet. They hit the road pushing the limits of both vehicles. The roads were narrow and winding. With the speed they were going, Bucky grew even more nervous for Sarah's safety.

Shots rang out and Bucky swerved to miss a bullet that went right over his shoulder.


	29. Chapter 29

Bullets ate into the road around them. The helicopter flew low, making the bright light nearly blind both Sarah and Bucky. _The old man at the gas station called them!_ Bucky told himself. _It was a stupid move to think you were safe there…_ Bucky was taking the turns at an unbelievable speed.

The tall trees gave them moments of cover from the helicopter light. His heart was pounding in his ears. He still didn't know where they were going. He was following his instinct with every turn and curve he took. So much danger in such a gamble….

"PULL OVER!" the police were still barking commands as if the two motorcyclists would obey them. Bucky saw a large bend in the road ahead that went left. _Don't take that turn_ ….he warned himself. He leaned into the curve as he roared around the bend. At this point, they had put a small amount of distance between them and the helicopter. Bucky hadn't looked over his shoulder to check on Sarah….

Another shot rang out but this time it was followed by the squealing of tires and a crash. Bucky knew automatically what had happened. He slammed on the breaks, leaving skid marks on the pavement. Smoke rolled out from under the Suzuki as Bucky turned sharply to go the other way. The spot light of the helicopter was focused on the aftermath of the wreck Sarah had just been in. They had shot the tires out from under her, causing her to crash into the guardrail on the bend in the road.

Smoke and the smell of gas filled the air as Bucky drew closer to what was left of the bike. Panic swirled inside his but he knew he couldn't let it surface. He nearly couldn't stop and he braked hard without letting the kick stand down and let the Suzuki hit the ground. Sarah lay crumpled a few feet away from the smoldering Indian. That's when he heard it. Small, soul-wrenching cries came from her. She gasped for air. The Indian was completely totaled. She had flipped at least twice. Bucky never saw badly the wreck really was.

"Sarah…. Sarah c'mon," Bucky shouted as he kneeled on the ground behind her. He put his hands on her, feeling blood immediately. "Sarah? Sarah look at me…" he commanded. Slowly and painfully, Bucky helped her roll onto her back. The helicopter was approaching quickly. Sarah's visor of her helmet was shattered and large tears were already rolling down her cheeks under the helmet. Her leather jacket and pants were in shreds. She clawed painfully at the helmet, trying to push it off. "Get up we have to go!" Bucky hissed, glancing over his shoulder. He wasn't trying to be heartless. He just couldn't let her know how bad her injuries were until they got somewhere safe.

She tried to sit up slowly, but let out a heart breaking scream in pain. Bucky took in a breath before cramming his hands under her and picking her up. She let out another gut-wrenching cry. He hoped his strength would not fail him now as he raised her off the ground. He'd carried her before. But this time was different. She was usually light as a feather. But this time, she was limp, leaving Bucky with total dead weight. Hot blood began to run down his arms and he was forced to ignore the painful sounds that came from Sarah.

Another round of bullets kicked up dirt and shot trees to pieces around them as the helicopter regained their visual. Bucky managed to pick the Suzuki up off the ground and throw Sarah onto it. He jumped on in front of her, taking her arms and forcing them around his waist. "Don't you dare let go of me," Bucky turned to her. The motorcycle roared away, faster than Bucky had ever gone before. Sarah's grip on him was loose. His bulging backpack kept her from clinging to him properly. He kept a hand over hers to keep her from slipping off. He kept the headlight of the bike off, hoping to make it more difficult for the helicopter to see them enough to shoot. But it wasn't enough to stop them from trying. Bucky pushed the bike harder. He could feel the pressure of Sarah's helmet pressed hard into his shoulder as she tried her best to cling to him.

Bucky's hair whipped around wildly as he took sharp curves to maneuver away for the helicopter. Something hot was soaking into Bucky's side through his shirt and jacket. _Blood_ , he thought. _Sarah's blood._


	30. Chapter 30: Vermont

Steve sat on the edge of his seat with his elbow on his knees as he listened to both Bruce and Tony debate on what to do about their lack of fuel.

"Well it seems like someone's math was off…" Bruce muttered under his breath. Tony tossed his hands in the air, "That's what I said!"

Steve couldn't help his mind from drifting however. He pushed himself up and out of his seat, heading to the back of the space craft. Stark never noticed him leave. Tony had only woken Bruce and Steve from the hyper sleep. Everyone else remained under in their cryo-pods. Everything was quiet. Only the sounds of Tony and Bruce could be heard. Steve never bothered looking out the windows of the craft. He knew he would only see the black emptiness of space.

Steve leaned against the wall in the back corner of the craft. It was the farthest and quietest place on the ship. After being woken, Tony was sure to let Steve know that there were some things he needed to see that were going on in Manhattan. All news footage was loaded onto a tablet to watch in real time thanks to Banner and Stark's forward thinking. Steve slid down the wall and sat on the floor, readying the tablet to watch the news footage.

 _Now you can't believe_ _everything_ _the media says_ … Steve reminded himself. Stark had indicated that the news wouldn't be good when he handed Steve the tablet.

" _This evening a downtown apartment complex was bombed. No one was killed however there were many badly injured in the explosion…."_ A news anchor narrated as the camera panned an imaged of Steve and Sarah's apartment. Smoke rolled out of the complex and people scattered on the street. Steve closed his eyes and covered his mouth with his hand but continued to listen _._ Guilt and fear swelled inside him as the newscaster continued… _"Police say that the culprit is James Buchanan Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier. He was last seen among the crowd after the explosion with a woman and an infant. Investigators say that Barnes has made the woman his hostage along with the child. No one is to approach Barnes. Police say he is armed and very dangerous. If seen, keep your distance and call the authorities immediately. The woman and child's identity have yet to be confirmed…"_

"Well damn…." Tony quipped as he casually leaned in the doorway. Steve threw him a sideways glance, "That's not right…. He wouldn't do that… something else is happening behind the scenes that no one is talking about…"

Stark's eyebrows shot up, "Oh I'm not condemning your choice in brainwashed psychopaths, Rogers… You trusted him with the wife… so…" Tony gestured towards the tablet, "So there ya go."

Steve cut him daggers, "You watched this before you woke me?" Steve held up the tablet. "I trust him with Sarah. I still trust him with her… At this point, you can stick with your opinions and I'll stick with mine. How about that, Stark?" There was venom in Steve's voice.

Tony pushed himself off the doorway, turning to leave. "Concrete walls. Bullet proof glass. Around the clock guards and all with the comforts of home. She could had had it as the Avenger facility! But hey…. If you wanted to send a brainwashed assassin to take care of her. I won't say I told you so…" Tony gave a forced smile and walked away.

Steve bowed his head. Tony had offered for Sarah and James to stay in the Avenger's facility before they had assembled to leave. At that point, Steve had already trusted Bucky to look out for her. He didn't want her to have to move into a cold military base to feel protected. Being left alone with their son was enough of a shock without her having to make a big move away from home. Steve thought turning down Tony's offer was wise. But after watching the Manhattan news footage, he was doubting Bucky. Sarah and James were now in so much danger….

Bucky was taking curves too fast without a headlight. It seemed to be working however. With the speed and the cover of trees and the dark, Bucky had managed to put more distance between them and the helicopter.

Old memories swam in the back of his mind. He didn't recognize roads or signs… he knew the names of them. The feeling of this place was familiar. The longer they drove, the more familiar the surroundings became. "We're getting close!" Bucky was back to Sarah. She still had the front of her helmet pressed to him, trying not to move. He never meant to seem heartless. He only wanted to get her to safety as quick as humanly possible so he could tend to her wounds. The road seemed to narrow and became rougher. The sound of the tires changed as Bucky continued to drive. It was older asphalt that the city hadn't bothered to repave in years.

It only took a fraction of a second for it to happen. A small wooden sign caught Bucky's eye. _Pine Branch Road?_ He took a sharp right, recognizing the name instantly. Instead of continuing down the road, Bucky turned the Suzuki into the ditch and into the woods. Pine straw and leaves were kicked up under the wheels. The bike skidded to a stop on its side, grinding both Bucky's and Sarah's legs into the ground and holding them there. Bucky killed the engine, "Stay down," he commanded to Sarah.

Where they lay on the ground gave them the cover of thick brush overhead. Tree tops swayed as the helicopter approached. The helicopter light passed over them several times before continuing down the length of the road. The both of them remained quiet until the helicopter couldn't be heard any more. Bucky let of a small breath in relief. Sarah was trying her best to suppress her heavy breathing. Both of them sat as still as possible with the motorcycle crush down on top of them.

Light had begun to break through the tree line. The sky glowed a shade of orange that Bucky had never seen before. Morning approached and Bucky new that the both of them had to get somewhere somewhat safe before it was totally light.

After what seems like forever, Bucky finally pushed the bike up and off the both of them, giving Sarah time to crawl out. Her every move was painful and cautious. Bucky's backpack prevented her from getting far until he adjusted. She dragged herself out from under the bike using her right arm, cradling the left close to her torso. "Is it your arm?" Bucky asked in a low tone. Sarah turned onto her right side, leaning on her elbow, "No…" she whimpered, "M-My s-shoulder…"

Bucky stood slowing, pushing branches from his face as he stepped over to where Sarah lay. Sarah clawed at the helmet with one hand. Bucky knelt at her side and pulled the helmet off for her. Sarah's temple was slick with blood along with the bottom of her lip being busted. Guilt ate at Bucky's insides. Tears streamed down her cheeks and he put both hands to the sides of her face. He softened his demeanor slightly. He wiped his thumb under her lip, "God…. Look at you…" he said breathlessly.

In the little light that the sun rising provided, Bucky could see that Sarah had a terrible case of road burn. Second degree from what Bucky could tell. She was still bleeding badly. He was starting to question whether or not he had the supplies to clean the wound properly. Road burn wasn't something to slap a band aid on and go.

And in that moment of silence, Bucky could hear the sound of the helicopter in the distance. "We have to go," He said flatly. He knew Sarah would not be able to walk the distance they needed to. He shoved his hands under Sarah to pick her up. "B-Buck I can walk… "She whimpered. He ignored her and he lifted her off the ground. He could only carry her one way over a long distance, and that was over his shoulders. He did just that. Sarah was always stubborn when it came to situations like these. Bucky recalled when she stepped into the broken glass from her mixing bowl months ago. The doctor told her not to walk much but that didn't stop her.

"Buck! W-what are you-?" Sarah began to protest. He adjusted her on his back, holding her like a farmer carried a new born calf. He began trudging away, leaving the Suzuki where it was. She was trying to free herself from his grip, "I can walk!" she said firmly but her voice wavered. Being tossed onto his shoulders sent a wave of pain through her. Bucky stopped for a moment, _"Stop moving around. You're going to make your shoulder worse…_ " he hissed. He kept his grip on her wrist and ankle tight so she wouldn't slip.

Bucky began to walk. He followed an instinct and hoped it was right. "Do you even k-know where to go?" Sarah asked quietly. He knew she was starting to doubt him. At this point he didn't blame her. He took a breath before explaining, "No… but I have a feeling. I have a memory of a place. Somewhere in the back of my mind…" Sarah was quiet for a moment, "So Vermont?" she muttered.

"Yeah," Bucky replied, "Vermont…"


	31. Chapter 31

Steve was ready to crawl back into his cryo-tube and sleep the rest of his life away. He wished he'd never seen the news footage. He wished he'd never left Sarah and James. Steve wished a lot of things. He sat in the back of the craft with his head tilted back against the wall. Time was moving so much differently in space. They'd only left Earth hours ago when in reality it had been 4 months. How could the ship nearly be out of fuel? How can someone miss a mistake like that before they left? All these questions and more flooded Steve's mind.

He thought of Sarah often. It made him hurt to think of all he'd put her through. After they got engaged, she quit her job at Fordham University to have more time to be with him. He could recall himself never making that big of a change for her. She made sure they had an old fashioned wedding. They waited until after they were married to find a place together. Every moment of the entire relationship, Sarah spent making sure Steve was comfortable and happy.

She always worked so hard to make him feel like he belonged in this century. He had always felt like the man out of time but Sarah insisted that he didn't have to feel like that anymore. She supported his role in the Avengers and always worked around his schedule _. No woman should ever have to do that for a man,_ Steve thought. _But she did_. Steve never thought of himself as demanding, but as he reflected on the past, he realized how hard it was on her. They'd had their share of fights. More and more often right before he left her. She had reached her breaking point but who could blame her?

Once, Sarah went with Steve to the gym one day. Natasha, Bucky, Sam, and he went on a weekly basis to spar for fun. Steve thought Sarah would enjoy going. Everyone was always kind to her, that's why Steve wasn't afraid to throw Sarah in the ring with Natasha.

"Bad idea…" Steve recalled Bucky muttering to him. Steve blew off his friends warning. Within moments, Natasha had successfully broken Sarah's nose. Nat could see that she'd gone too hard on her when she saw Sarah curled up on the matt of the ring, blood gushing from her nose. Steve remembered Nat looking at him with horror in her eyes as she quickly exited the ring, escaping her terrible mistake. Bucky shoved him hard. Steve nearly lost his footing.

"What the HELL did I just say?!" Bucky said with anger in his voice. Steve was eaten alive with guilt to this day. He pictured Sarah looking to him with large tears rolling down her face. Bucky had climbed into the ring to press a towel to her face before Steve could ever move. Sarah never moved her eyes away from him, shaming him all the way to the core. It was days before Sarah would speak to him again.

 _That's when it started_ , Steve thought. _The beginning of the end…_

Bucky had trekked what felt like miles with Sarah on his shoulders. For the most part they both remained quiet, with short bursts of low toned conversation.

"How are you holding up?" Bucky muttered as he adjusted his grip on her. "Alive believe it or not…" She answered painfully. Bucky nodded, "Alive is good. Do me a favor and let's keep it like that."

"Can we stop for a minute? All the blood had gone to my head, Buck…" She wheezed after Bucky jolted her farther up on his shoulders. Bucky carefully leaned over so her feet touched the ground. She slipped off his back and sat down gently in the pine straw. Sarah involuntarily began to draw her left arm into herself out of pain. Tears had never left her eyes but she had yet to complain to him. Bucky shed the backpack from his shoulders and let it fall to the cold hard ground. The sun was rising high and the temperature with it. Bucky and Sarah both were pouring sweat. He shrugged off his leather jacket and tossed it on top of the backpack.

"I'd kill for a hair tie…" Bucky muttered under his breath as he sank to the ground beside Sarah and clawed his matted hair from his face. He wiped at his forehead with the back of his flesh hand before unzipping the backpack and rummaging through its contents.

"How had is the pain?" Bucky asked her as he dung through the bag. "Scale of 1 to 10."

Without hesitation Sarah managed to let out that it was a 7. Bucky hid his surprised expression from her. If he would have known how much pain she was in, he would have stopped sooner. He shook his head, "You should have told me…."

Sarah wiped at her eye," Complaining doesn't help anything, Buck…" Bucky retrieved a bottle of medication from the bottom of the backpack. Sarah was clutching her left arm with her right, beginning to shake slightly. Bucky looked at her. "If you complaining help me know if you're hurting, then I want you to complain more often…" Bucky told her as he popped the cap from the bottle. He fished out two tablets, "Here."

Bucky didn't know what the medication was. All he knew that it was for pain and it would knock a full grown man unconscious. He leaned forward, willing to put the tablets into her mouth for her. "What are they?" Sarah asked quietly. "Don't worry about it," Bucky quipped. She opened her mouth hesitantly, allowing him to toss the tablets in. "Chew 'em," Bucky said closing the bottle and tossing it back in the backpack. Sarah complied.

Bucky sat back and looked at her for a long time. He loved her. That he couldn't deny any more. She made something inside him stir. Something in the depths of his that he thought Hydra destroyed long ago. She made him feel. But at the same time, he was reluctant to act on it. She was still fresh out of a divorce with Steve and it just didn't seem right. It was eating him alive. Every time he'd feel something, he'd push it back down. But moments later he would catch himself imagining how her hips would feel under his hands.

They sat in silence to a long time. Sarah's head hung low as she stared at the ground between her knees. Long strands of hair hung in her face. She was covered in dirt, sweat and blood. He motorcycle jacket was in shreds….Bucky reached over and gently tucked a piece behind her ear without a word. She gave him a sideways glance with a small smile. And in her eyes, Bucky could see that the medication was taking effect. _Maybe she'll get some relief,_ Bucky thought to himself.

And in that moment, Bucky heard the familiar sound of the helicopter in the distance.

"C'mon," He commanded, standing to his feet. He yanked the back pack over his shoulders, "We gotta go…" He knelt down to Sarah, who was now nearly sedated thanks to the medication. He took her wrist and wrapped her arm around his neck and heaved her off the ground. When the helicopter blades seemed to draw closer, Bucky tossed her onto his back once more. Sarah let out a stifling cry when he did this.

Bucky took long strides. He maneuvered through the thick trees and brush, ducking to avoid a low hanging branch occasionally. He quickened his pace as the helicopter drew closer. The heat was beginning to be miserable. But Bucky knew that there was nothing to be done about it. He just had to keep moving until he found the place he was still trying to remember.


	32. Chapter 32

The heat was beating down on Bucky as he trudged through the thick brush. Sarah was now quiet. _Probably the medication_ , Bucky thought to himself. All of his surroundings had a familiarity to them. He knew in the back of him mind he wasn't truly lost.

He needed to get Sarah somewhere safe. _Well,_ Bucky thought, _safer._ The helicopter circled the sky above them. They'd flown higher to gain visibility over a greater distance. But Bucky was moving out of sight under the tree line. Bucky had left his leather jacket back where he and Sarah had stopped. He couldn't say he wasn't thankful for leaving it behind with the heat being as miserable as it was. He only wished he had it to cover the reflection of his metal arm.

He hated it. His left arm. It was only a reminder of what Hydra had turned him into. It was too powerful, too dangerous. His wished every day that there was some way to have a flesh arm again. But he knew that wasn't possible. Sarah never seem to mind it however. She never flinched or cringed when he'd reached towards her or touch her. She wasn't afraid of him. James was fearless. He loved Bucky's left hand and would often try to chew his fingertips when Bucky would hold him.

Bucky caught himself thinking of all the times Sarah had been kind to him, despite her circumstances. She was unbelievably kind. Sadly, to a flaw. She would give the shirt off her back if it meant helping someone. Steve and Sarah had been married about a year when Sarah found out she was pregnant. She was just then 5 months along with James when Bucky took sick. Bucky lived alone at that point, trying to gain some independence. Steve stayed with him for a few days but was called out for a mission in Romania. So Sarah stepped in for him.

Bucky remembered her stepping into his apartment with a giant bag slung over her shoulder. The apartment was a wreck but Bucky was too sick to even care. He was curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders. His only light source was a lamp on the table next to the couch. Sarah dropped the bag with a sigh and placed her hands on her back to stretch. Her shirt was stretched tight over her belly. Bucky never greeted her.

"Feeling any better?" Sarah asked him as she shut the door behind herself. Bucky shook his head like a small child. Sarah pursed her lips as she stepped over to the couch. She reached out to place the back of her hand on Bucky's forehead. "What are you doing?" Bucky growled.

"Checking your fever," She quipped. "You're still cold?" Bucky adjusted the blankets tighter around himself and moved away, "I'm not a kid, Sarah."

Sarah walked over to her bag and squatted carefully, trying not to fall. "Oh yeah, Buck. I forgot you're a grown ass man." She pulled a bottle of Day-Quill from her bag and tossed it at him. He eyed her warily. She put her hands on her hips, "Steve is on a mission. So you either got me or nothing. Do you want my help, yes or no? I am way too pregnant to put up with your bullshit today…"

Bucky sat on the couch in silence. Sarah had never spoken to him so sternly before. Is this was being pregnant does to women? He looked around at the apartment. Pots and pans were piled in the sink. Baskets of unfolded laundry sat by the bedroom door. And water bottle and soda cans were littered around the trash can from failed attempts at tossing them in.

"I guess… I could use a little help…" Bucky admitted hoarsely. That was all she needed to hear.

Sarah spent the remainder of that day cleaning his apartment and keeping Bucky dosed with medication. She was five months pregnant and still made the trip across town to help her husband's best friend. The laundry was done, the kitchen was cleaned and the trash taken out. She was kind.

Bucky brought himself back to their current situation. He adjusted his grip on Sarah and trudged on. The trees seemed to be thinning up ahead. Bucky thought he should at least step to the break in the tree line to see if anything was familiar. He was glad he did.

The thick brush thinned out into an open field. They stood at the top of a hill, and at the bottom, Bucky could see a cabin tucked under a grove of pine trees.

Memories struck him like a bolt of lightning. His father built that cabin… with his uncle.

"Sarah," Bucky started to kneel to let Sarah off his shoulders. "Sarah, c'mon." Sarah peeled her eyes open, still groggy from the medication she'd taken earlier. Bucky sat her down on the ground gently, trying to suppress his own enthusiasm. "Sarah, look," he said, pointing down the hill. "This is it."

Sarah squinted where Bucky was pointing. "That cabin?" she muttered. She turned to him, "You remember it?" She had dark circles under her eyes. Bucky forced himself back into the present moment. For a fleeting second he forgot that he needed to look at Sarah's road rash.

"Not much," he huffed as he wrapped her arm over his shoulders. "My dad built it, I think… Can you walk?" Sarah nodded slowly. Bucky helped her back off the ground. They both began to descend the hill, heading towards the cabin. It wasn't until Sarah began to walk that he noticed she was limping. He craned his neck back to look at the back of her legs. The flesh of her left leg was in shreds just like her back.


	33. Chapter 33

Now that I am free of finals/school/responsibilities, I'll try to update more often!

Steve sat stiffly in one of the pilot seats. He drummed his fingers anxiously on the arm rest. Bruce and Tony were still pouring over calculations on how to fix their fuel situation. Steve couldn't help but fume in his chair. Tony had handed him the new footage after he saw it himself… He was smug in his actions. He only wanted to rub it in Steve's face that he was right all along.

Steve didn't want to think that Bucky had dragged James and Sarah into a lethal situation, but after seeing the news footage, what else was he supposed to think?

Tony interrupted Steve's thoughts, "If you're done pouting, Cap, Bruce and I need to show you something…" Steve rolled his eyes internally as he shoved himself out of his seat. He followed Stark to where he and Bruce had set up. Bruce turned to face Steve and gave him a small, friendly smile. Tony steered Steve to the control panel and picked up a piece of paper.

"So here's what we're dealing with," Tony said. Bruce placed a red pen in Tony's extended hand. Tony took it and leaned over the control panel to illustrate the facts to Steve. Steve stared at the map, his mind in another place. He could see it was a map of the solar system, but he couldn't decipher the math that tony had scribbled around it.

"When we passed this point, "Tony circled a point on the map, "Is when we started losing fuel-"

"Sounds like the news…" Bruce muttered, never turning away from his calculations.

A small alarm sounded from the behind them, making Tony forget what he was about to say next. Both Tony and Steve turned to where Tony's tablet sat in the pilot seat. Tony scooped it up, glancing over the screen. Steve could read his facial expression and could tell whatever he was looking at wasn't good.

"What is it?" Steve dared to ask. Tony glanced up at him minutely, "I'd set this up to have the news streamed to us…There's an update on-"

Steve stepped forward, "Let me see." Tony took a step back, hugging the tablet to his chest with one are and pushing Steve back with the other. "Listen, Rogers… This isn't something you need to see…"

Steve could feel anger boiling in his gut. "Let me see it, Stark…" Steve growled. Tony took a frustrated breath, "Rogers, I'm trying to help, dammit. The second you watch it, you're going to wish you didn't…"

Steve ignored him and held out his hand for the tablet. Tony looked at his friend a long time before finally placing the tablet in his hand. Steve turned sharply, taking the tablet with him into the next cabin of the craft. He had no intentions of letting Tony or even Bruce see his reaction.

Steve planted himself back into the seat was in before. He arranged himself and held the tablet in his hands firmly.

A new anchorman from the previous news footage stood along a winding road, microphone in hand. _"Brian Spears here with an update on the search for the Winter Soldier…"_ Steve closed his eyes for a moment, dreading the news to come _. "I'm here on the outskirts of Vermont where emergency personnel discovered a motorcycle wreck early this morning_. _After hours or surveying the area, no rider can be found. But after further investigation, the New_ York _Police Department have tracked the 1942 Indian to Captain Steven Roger's wife, Sarah Rogers."_

Steve hung his head low as the wreck scene flashed across the screen. When he glanced up he caught sight of the Indian motorcycle twisted and beaten nearly out of recognition. Steve felt his heart break. _"I've only cried twice in my life,"_ he thought back to when he said that to Natasha Romanoff. _"Once when I got beat up in an alley when I was ten, and then when Bucky died."_ Steve was never one to break down, but in this moment, he could.

"I'll take care of her, Rogers," Tony said coolly from the cabin doorway. Steve turned to look at him, still clutching the tablet in his hands. Tony pushed himself off the doorway and stepped closer to his friend. "I can put her in the Avenger's facility, like we talked about before. James and her both," Tony said in a much softer tone.

"What about Bucky?" Steve asked flatly. "You going to lock him up the second you get the chance?"

Tony looked down at the floor between his feet and took a small breath, "Not if I can help it…. If we had more information on what was happening…." He shrugged, "It's all on him and what he does is all I'm saying, Cap… "

The door to the cabin wasn't hard to pry open. Both Bucky and Sarah had found the inside of the cabin nearly frozen in time. There was evidence that some kids had used it as a hideout to drink and smoke, but other than some empty beer cans, it was completely empty. Bucky walked Sarah to the far back corner of the cabin.

Bucky could see she was biting the inside of her cheek as he let her slip to the floor. He knew they could never outrun the Kingpin.

"Buck," Sarah wheezed as he sat gently in front of her. The cabin floor was covered in an inch of dust and dirt. There was a cold silence that hung in the air. He looked to her. Her head was craned back against the wall. She cradled her left arm in her lap. She sat stiffly, pain crawling all over her facial expressions. A bloody and bruised mess.

"Buck, if I die-"she started but Bucky stopped her words with his own. "No. We aren't doing this…" he looked at her sternly. Her gaze was unwavering, "Let me finish, Buck…"

Bucky nodded hesitantly after a moment and turned to his backpack. "If I die, I don't want James to know who his father is until he's ….older…. "Bucky shook his head as he fished out the pain medication once again. "I want him to finish college…. I already have the money set aside…" she continued, her eyes trailing around the ceiling. Bucky held two tablets in his hand.

"Here," he momentarily interrupted her so she could take the pills into her mouth. He was leaned in closely when Sarah began to speak again, "I meant what I said…. Before the wreck…" her voice was small, barely above a whisper.

Bucky's heart began to pound once again. He was going to tell her. _You are going to tell her_ , he assured himself. He scoffed a laugh and looked down shyly, smiling as he summoned the courage" You know, it may sound kinda stupid but I wish it'd had been… umm… I wish I could have met you at that diner that morning…"

Sarah knew he was referring to when she and Steve met. "Maybe I could have saved you some heart ache…" Bucky said gently as he began to move away. Sarah sat quietly for a long moment.

"I knew what I was getting into when I married him," she said slowly. Bucky continued to rummage through his bag, but he listened. "He belonged to Peggy… And I knew that from the start. I …I knew deep down he'd never love me like he loved her…"

Bucky was frozen when he heard Peggy's name. He glanced up to look back at Sarah who already had her eyes fixed on him. "You can't do that to yourself…." Bucky muttered to her. Sarah shot him a pitiful smile, still slumped against the wall. "Do what? I'm only stating the facts, Buck…"

Bucky leaned in close once more, purposefully softening his facial expression so he could be gentler with her. _Tell her_ , he repeated in his mind. _**Tell her.**_ He combed back a loose piece of her hair back again, something he'd caught himself doing more and more. This time he let his hand linger on her cheek bone.

"Steve may be my best friend," He said flatly, "But he's the biggest damn fool I know…" Sarah's eyes were transfixed on his. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life… But walking through your apartment door wasn't one of them…" Sarah slowly slipped her right hand under his chin, running her thumb over the thin beard he'd now grown.

"I'm going to get us out of this," Bucky continued, maintaining eye contact. "And when I do, we're getting James and staying at the Avenger's facility. No more being chased. _I'm gonna take care of you…just like you've taken care of me."_ His last words were sharp, focused.

And with that, Sarah sat forward and pressed her mouth to Bucky's. He couldn't help but kiss her back as he squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to freeze time again, if only for just a moment.


	34. Chapter 34

Your Choice Chapter 34

Steve found himself walking laps around the cryo-tubes in the main compartment of the ship. He clawed at his hair, cursing under his breath. Tony and Bruce had been recalculating their options for their lack of fuel for hours. But to Steve, it seemed that all they were doing was wasting precious time. Natasha, Clint, and Thor remained in hyper sleep. Steve was on the edge of desperation to speak to Natasha but he knew that waking her now would be a big mistake. Every moment they spent awake, they grew older. Hyper sleep was the only way to prevent that.

Once Steve had walked dozens of laps around the cryo room, he strode into the control room. Tony and Bruce sat hunched over the control panel, still trying to make the best of the fuel situation. Neither of them turned to acknowledge Steve when he walked in. Steve didn't understand why Tony bothered to wake him in the first place. There was nothing Steve could do to help.

"Tony," Steve said flatly. Tony never turned to him, "Hmm?" Steve stuffed his hands deep in his pockets, "I want to go back under."

There was a stiff silence. Tony swiveled his chair to face his friend. Stark knew he was serious by the look in Steve's eyes. Tony clicked then pen he held between his fingers, thinking.

"How long do you want to nap, Cap?" Tony said standing to his feet. "I can set the timer-"

"No," Steve said quickly. "I don't want the timer set…"

Tony cocked an eyebrow at him and threw Bruce a sideways glance. "You know Steve," Bruce said removing his glasses. "If we don't set a timer, you won't wake up unless someone does it manually…."

"I know," Steve muttered. "And that's fine with me…"

Tony took a step forward, "Look Rogers, Bruce and I have almost got this booger worked out…. We didn't lose much fuel but it was just enough to screw us up…"

"I don't really care," Steve said with venom in his voice. "No matter what we do, we still aren't getting back home. So I want you to put me under, Stark. If we make it to Thanos, wake me up. If not, I don't care."

"You're only saying that because of the news…" Tony said with a furrowed brow. "Cap, I woke you up for a reason."

Steve felt anger swirling in his chest, "And what was that reason? To rub it in my face that you were right about Bucky? To brag about how Sarah and James could be behind 10 foot thick walls? I did what I thought was best for her, Stark. I was looking out for them." Steve and Tony were toe to toe. "But you wouldn't know anything about that. Not being careful was what made Pepper leave you…"

All air in the craft was sucked out once Steve finished his sentence. The only thing audible was the squeaking of Bruce chair as he turned back to his work.

Tony blinked hard. "Don't bring her into this…." Tony said through gritted teeth. "She has nothing to do with this… All Sarah ever did was look out for you. She would be disgusted by the man standing in front of me now….."

Steve took in a breath before he turned on his heels to leave.

The entire mission consisted of three jump points to get to the prison dimension where Thanos was. The team's location was nearing Core 1, a moon of Jupiter. The first jump point was on the far side of Neptune. The craft had enough fuel to make it to the first jump point, but they needed to reserve as much as possible to be able to use the back thrusters to slow once inside. Stark and Banner calculated that the lack of fuel was only a problem once they were inside the jump point. Without the fuel, they would be burned up inside. Going into the point without the proper amount of fuel was the equivalent of sitting in a speeding car that was going downhill, with no brakes.

(Bucky and Sarah)

Sarah sat beside Bucky, her head resting on his shoulder. She was asleep once again thanks to the strong pain medication. Bucky sat with his eyes fixed on the door of the cabin, his thoughts flying. His whole plan had gone wrong. He was so sure this place would provide more safety that what it really was. Kingpin could find them with ease, and who's to say he already hadn't? Their situation had gone from bad to worse. All Bucky felt like he'd done was back the two of them into a corner where there was no way out. Bucky worried about James too. He caught himself missing him terribly and couldn't possibly imagine how much Sarah missed him.

Sarah and Bucky had kissed. Bucky's thoughts had been a blur since. Now she was curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder. He knew they needed to leave but there was no way Bucky could continue carrying her. It was the first time in a while Bucky knew they were completely stuck.

He rested his head against the wall behind them. He kept his free hand on the pistol at his side. Pain still shot through his left arm after all this time. Bucky gritted his teeth as another wave of pain washed over him. He let his eyes slip shut for a moment. He never intended on falling asleep but he did.

He never knew how much time had passed before he jolted awake. Bucky ripped his eyes open to the sound of Sarah coughing and the smell of smoke hanging in the air. Smoke had consumed the inside of the cabin thick enough to make his eyes water immediately.

Bucky sat forward and began to shake Sarah, who remained groggy from the medication. She coughed deeply and forced her eyes open. "Sarah we have to go," Bucky spat out. They didn't have time to think things through this time. The smoke was growing thicker and Bucky knew without a doubt that the cabin had been set on fire.


	35. Chapter 35

Bucky was coughing deeply as burning tears streamed down his face. There was no time to make a plan. No time to strategize the next move. Bucky moved as quickly as he could to take Sarah's arm over his shoulders. Her head hung low as he picked both of them up off the floor. He let out a painful grunt from under Sarah's arm.

"C,mon , Sarah. Use your feet..." Bucky coaxed her through gritted teeth. She sluggishly trudged beside him to the cabin door. Smoke swirled around them. The temperature of the interior was quickly rising. The floors and walls had begun to moan and creak as flames licked up the back wall. Bucky knew within minutes; the entire cabin would be consumed.

"Keep walking. We're almost there…" Bucky continued to motivate Sarah. He adjusted his grip on her arm and continued to tow her towards the door. Once they reached it, Bucky never hesitated to kicking it open in case it was locked. The door flew off the hinges, sending splinters of wood everywhere.

Bucky dragged both himself and Sarah through the doorway, throwing them on the ground outside.

The both of them coughed and choked on the fresh air. Bucky kept his nose to the ground, trying to catch his breath. "Sarah," Bucky gasped between breaths, "We gotta- "Bucky took a blow to the back of the head. His thoughts went black. For how long, he didn't know. His ears were ringing as he tried to force his eyes open. He could feel the heat from the burning cabin on his back.

He heard Sarah screaming in the distance. Bucky looked ahead around knowing good and well that he was restrained with his arms behind his back. Men clad in dark suits had Sarah only 10 yards away. The inferno blazing behind them lit up the wilderness for miles. They had her arms twisted behind her back. Sarah scraped and clawed but was forced to her knees. Bucky lunged forward to stand but was forced back down to the ground with another blow to the head. He felt the heel of a shoe press down on his temple.

"Sergeant Barnes, I believe our little game of cat and mouse has finally come to an end," Kingpin muttered far above him. Bucky fought against his restraints to no avail. Kingpin pushed his foot down harder on Bucky's head, "I don't like them hitting you, Barnes. It makes Mrs. Rogers quite upset."

Kingpin removed his foot to step in front of Bucky. Bucky craned his neck to look up at the man towering over him. Kingpin was adjusting his cufflinks as he spoke, "I must say, I am disappointed in you. I expected better of the finest assassin in history." And with that, Kingpin turned on his heels to step in Sarah's direction. Bucky laid still on the ground, watching Kingpins movements closely. He couldn't tell how many men stood around them. Outnumbered was an understatement.

Kingpin had made his way over to where Sarah sat. Men kept her forced to the ground on her knees until Kingpin waved his hand and they released her. Kingpin tugged at the knees of his pants before squatting in front of her. Bucky listened closely to the exchange of words.

"I believe that you have seen better days, Mrs. Rogers," He said looking down at her. Sarah never raised her head, "Reed." She looked up the Kingpin slowly. Bucky saw that she had come alive despite the medication she had taken earlier. Kingpin leaned in slightly, "Pardon me?"

"Reed," Sarah repeated hoarsely. "It's Miss Reed…" A fire burned inside her eyes. A switch had flipped.

"Oh, I apologize," Kingpin whipped put a handkerchief from the inside of his jacket to wipe sweat from his brow. Bucky watched Sarah closely, expecting tears or for her to begin to curl up in pain. But she sat firm, looking up at the massive man sitting in front of her.

"Do you know where the Captain is…. Miss Reed?" Kingpin asked politely. Sarah slowly shook her head, denying any knowledge.

Kingpin shut his eyes momentarily in frustration. "Miss Reed," He muttered to her, "It is of great importance that we find him." Sarah stayed silent a long time before answering, "I don't…I don't know where he is…" She lowered her gaze once more.

Then the truth hit Bucky like a freight train. These men were never hunting for him. They didn't want control of the Winter Soldier. They wanted Sarah to give away the location of the Avengers. Bucky hung his head, shamed. The whole time he was running from these mobsters, he never considered they didn't want him. The bombing at the apartment was to separate Bucky from her. They would have picked her and James out of the crowd after he explosion if Bucky hadn't reached them in time. _They only had the Red Book to separate him from her._

But they assumed that Steve had let Sarah in on his location. They never thought he would leave her in the dark on everything. While in the moment, Steve made a good choice by not telling her, but now she was in a very dangerous spot. Kingpin would never believe that she was clueless.

Kingpin returned to a standing position and adjusted his jacket, "Captain Rogers was smart enough to place his skilled friend with you." He gestured over to Bucky. "Surely you can recall something."

Bucky and Sarah's eyes met. The heat from the cabin fire was rising behind them and parts of the structure had begun to give away. Sarah was looking to Bucky for answers but he had none to get her. Kingpin had made their situation seem as if Steve had set it up for Bucky to guard Sarah. It now seemed that Steve sent Bucky to make sure she didn't spill information when that wasn't the case.

"Beijing…" Sarah nearly blurted out. She was fishing for a correct answer. "He's in Beijing…"

Without warning, Kingpin struck her down with the back of his fist. Sarah's hands flew to her face as she fell to her side. "I don't appreciate you lying to me, Miss Reed," Kingpin said with anger shaking in his voice.

And with that, Bucky had enough fury inside him to fuel his actions. Bucky ripped through his restraints, not caring how badly it hurt to do so. Men began to pile on top of him to restrain him once again but Bucky threw them off. He was in a blind rage, throwing his fists into anyone who held him back. A man attempted pressing the barrel of his rifle to Bucky's head to subdue him. Bucky griped the barrel quickly with his left hand, crushing it and seizing the gun from the mobster who held it.

Bucky's vision was red. His control was quickly slipping away but he let the Winter Soldier take the wheel. All he could think about was killing whoever came between Sarah and him. He grabbed the next man by the throat, not hesitating to crush his windpipe. The next man was sent flying into the rubble of the burning cabin. The next died of a broken neck. Bucky could feel their blood working its way into the grooves of his metal arm. But he didn't care.

He only stopped when every mobster lied dead on the ground.

Now, Kingpin had dragged Sarah away from the scene. He kept his arm around her neck while he pressed a pistol to her head with his free hand. Still in a rage, Bucky snatched a gun off the body of a nearby mobster. He began to make his way to Kingpin with his finger tight on the trigger. Bucky felt as if he were through a window of a vehicle he wasn't steering.

"Come a step closer and I won't hesitate to blow her head off, "Kingpin said in a raised voice. Bucky already had his pistol raised but stopped in his tracks. Kingpin cracked a small smile. He let out a chuckle, "Look at you…. You fear losing control but here you are freely giving it. "

Sarah was clawing at the arm Kingpin wrapped her in. Bucky only looked at Kingpin down the sights of the pistol. "I never needed that book…" Kingpin continued. He now had Bucky's full attention. "I never needed the code words to control you. I simply just had to push the right buttons and here you are…. Covered in gore…" Kingpin looked over Bucky with disgust written all over his face. The smell of blood had begun to mingle with the smell of smoke from the cabin.

Kingpin dropped Sarah only to step around her. It was then Bucky could see Kingpin had struck her with the hand that several rings were. It had cut the edge of her jawline open. Sarah's hands covered her face but she watched carefully.

Bucky was breathing hard, never lowering his aim.

What Bucky wasn't expecting was for Kingpin to fire a shot off and into him. Bucky felt the bullet pierce his lower abdomen and exit from his back. Bucky staggered where he stood, pressing his free hand over the wound. Blood was gushing from his hip as he sank to his knees but he never lowered his aim.

"You've put me in quite a predicament, Sargent Barnes," Kingpin sneered. Kingpin stepped closer to Bucky to press the tip of the pistol to his forehead. "It would have been an absolute pleasure to use you, but seeing that you're problematic, it won't be-"Kingpin was cut short when a bullet ate through the top of his skull. He was dead before hitting the ground.

Bucky let his weapon slip from his grip. He looked to Sarah who was still clutching the smoking weapon she had used to kill the crime boss. She dropped it, horrified with her actions.

There was a long moment of silence between the two of them. The fire continued to consumed what was left of the cabin. The smell of death filled both their nostrils. Both crushed their hands to their bloody wounds. It was only a build up for what Bucky would hear next. He saw it building in Sarah's expression. He began to claw his way through the blood-soaked grass to get to her, dragging his right leg. The moment before he reached her is when it happened.

Sarah let out a scream filled with agony and sadness. Her wails carried anger and pain miles from where they sat. Blood curdling, grief- filled cries escaped her. He had never heard such a sound in all his years and he would never be able to forget it. He was only able to drag himself close enough to reach out and put his left hand on the side of her neck. She leaned into his touch, not caring that his hands were blood soaked. Bucky wasn't able to hold himself up so he lied gently on the ground beside Sarah.

Sarah lowered herself down in the grass at his side. Her cries had subsided and silence fell again. Bucky took shallow breaths, knowing he would bleed out before help of any sort would reached them. Sarah's chances were better than his at staying alive.

He couldn't find and words to speak to comfort her. All he could do was cradle her face in his hand. Sarah's fingers were curled around his wrist, her eyes squeezed shut.

"D-don't you dare leave me…" She choked out. She was now looking at him, straight through him, with her blue eyes. He failed to muster any words. He only stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. He was glad it was him. He wouldn't have changed his fate for the world. He felt his eyes drifting shut and he feared he'd never open them again.

But over Sarah's shoulder, he could make out blue lights. Bucky couldn't keep his eyes from slipping shut but he could smile knowing help was so close. Once he closed his eyes, he fell into a deep darkness.


	36. Chapter 36

Both Sarah and Bucky were both taken to Battleboro Memorial Hospital. Bucky was immediately prepped for surgery upon arrival. He had coded in the ambulance twice.

Sarah underwent several skin grafts for the skin on her left shoulder and thigh. But after 37 stitches, she came through fine.

Bucky needed 4 pints of blood. Doctors removed his metal arm temporarily for their own safety. After his surgery, Bucky was strapped to the bed.

Claire was contacted shortly after Sarah was admitted into the hospital. She drove from Manhattan with James and her son Demarcus to see her.

Bucky peeled his eyes open 2 days after his surgery. His right arm was anchored to the bed. The entire room was quiet. Only the sound of his heart monitor was audible. Bucky trailed his eyes to his side to see Sam Wilson sitting quietly at his side, reading a book. Bucky slowly turned his head to look at his friend. Sam still had bandages on his forearms and his eye was still puffy from the attack the days before. Bucky was groggy. Everything hurt. He was bandaged nearly head to toe. Miles of wires tangled him and his throat was incredibly dry.

"S-Sam…" Bucky's voice cracked as he forced out the word. Sam gently shut his book and leaned in to look to his friend. "Hey, man…" Sam said in a low voice. Bucky shifted to sit up on his elbows but Sam stopped him, "Wow, easy there…. Lay back down…" Sam pushed down on Bucky's collarbone.

Bucky sat back reluctantly. "Where's Sarah?" Bucky rasped. Sam closed his eyes and tilted his head back, "Well, I knew you'd be asking that…" Sam leaned in to put his elbows on his knees. "She's … okay."

The word stirred something inside Bucky. He stained his eyes at Sam, looking for a real answer. Sam began again, "She is okay. She came through her treatments just fine…." Sam scratched the back of his head. "I don't know, man." Bucky knew he was holding back. "Tell… me," Bucky hissed through his teeth.

Sam looked Bucky in the eye, "All I know that a doctor from the psyche ward has been in her room a few times…"

Bucky instantly knew why. He played the moment she shot and killed Kingpin in his mind repeatedly. He looked away from Sam, not saying a word. Sam pulled his chair closer to the hospital bed. He became more serious. "Alright. I told you how she is. And you want to know my opinion? I think she's losing her damn mind over this little stunt you pulled…" There was venom in Sam's voice. "I think she is a tough woman. I think she'll be okay…" Sam sat back firmly in his chair, "Yeah, she'll be fine. After God knows how many metal treatments… You've got to tell me what the hell happened, man…. The press has been breaking down doors since we got the two of you checked in here… You couldn't ask me for help, man?"

Bucky turned his gaze back on Sam, "You and I both know…. You weren't in any shape to go with me…" he muttered. Sam tossed a hand up, "So you take Sarah? Smart…"

"She…she wanted to go…" Bucky said. "She left James…with Claire…"

"Stupid ass move, Barnes," Sam crossed her arms. "Why the hell would a smart chick like that just drop her kid off? Why did you let her go, man?"

" _ **I don't know!"**_ Bucky growled lunging up off the bed. His arm restraint kept him down. Sam leaned in once more, his voice low, "Steve wanted us to keep her out of harm's way- "

" _They were after her,"_ Anger flamed in Bucky's eyes. He wanted Sam to believe him. "Kingpin wanted to know where the team was…. they thought she knew…." Sam squinted at him, "So you blew his head off…" "No-"Bucky cut him short, "Sarah did…"

Sam stared at him for a long moment. He stood silently and put his hands on his hips. Bucky watched him carefully. "This is a shit spot to be in…." Sam muttered, his back to Bucky. Sam turned, clawing at his jaw, "This is like Washington all over again, man… Listen, "Sam pointed his finger at Bucky. "I'm gonna help you…but you've got to shoot straight with me. No more of this solo act."

Bucky nodded tightly.

Sam looked at him, "Do you want to see her?" "Yes," Bucky answered a little too quickly. Sam's mouth curled into a small smile, "Alright, man. Let's get you up."

45 minutes later, Bucky was being pushed in a wheelchair down the hallways of the hospital. It was difficult to maneuver without his left arm. He felt off balance so Sam decided it best if he were wheeled to Sarah instead. Bucky never cared whether he got his metal arm back. His only request to the nurse is that he got a shirt with sleeves long enough to cover his left shoulder.

Sarah was on the fourth floor of the hospital in room 416. Bucky couldn't help but be nervous about seeing her. He didn't know what her reaction would be. He didn't know what to expect. As Sam pushed him down the hall of Sarah's floor, he couldn't help but claw at his stubble with worry. He hadn't even had time to look in the mirror even though he knew it didn't matter.

Once they reached room 416, Sam reached over Bucky's head to knocked gently on the door. Before he received an answer, Sam began to push Bucky though the door. "Hey, hey, little bit…" Sam chimed as the door opened. "I brought some company."

Bucky wasn't ready to see her how she was. Even if she felt the same about him. A doctor was at the side of her bed, speaking softly. When he noticed Sam and Bucky enter, he nodded with a soft smile before leaving. That's when Bucky could see her. Guilt ate away at his gut once more. Her arms were bandaged heavily and her face bruised and bloody. She clutched a toy in her hand that James left from his visit. Bucky wasn't ready…

Sam put Bucky's chair in park when he saw Bucky hide his face. He stepped around him, "You up for a visit?" Sam stood between them. Bucky kept his eyes covered with his hand. He was slightly slumped in the wheelchair.

"Of course,…" Sarah muttered.

Bucky's stomach was in knots. Sam pulled his chair closer. Bucky sank deeper into it, too ashamed to look her in the eye. When his knees bumped the bedside, he dared to glance up at her. When his eyes met hers, he couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over him. She was looking at him as if he were innocent. As if he had never done anything wrong. He couldn't handle it.

He grinded his teeth as he looked at her. She returned his glare with a small smile. It caught him off guard when she extended her hand towards him, "Buck…." Her voice was barely audible. "Don't do it, Buck…. I see what you're doing, and it's not fair." He didn't touch her hand. He didn't speak. What would he even say if he could summon the words?

"We got a lot to talk about, don't we?" She said gently. She was searching his face for a response. When she extended her hand to touch his face, he flinched. "But if you don't want to talk right now, I get it…" She muttered with a defeated tone. Bucky shook his head, leaning slightly into her touch. She ran her thumb over his bruised cheekbone. They were both silent for a long time. Somewhere between words, Sam had slipped out of the room. Only the shuffling of doctors and nurses in the hallways could be heard.

"I'm…I'm sorry" Bucky said after a seemingly eternity of silence. "Don't be," Sarah answered quickly. "You did the best you could with what you had…." She was cutting him so much slack. She had never treated him like the criminal he was. _**IS**_. It wasn't fair. They'd come so far and she still saw no fault in him. Even now, she was reaching from her hospital bed to him. What kind of a woman is this?

He was supposed to be caring for her when Steve left. He was just supposed to check on her every now and then. Suddenly, they shared a bed and Bucky was changing James' diapers. She domesticated him in the best way possible. Is that what love did to people? She saw past his flaws, despite how many. Bucky couldn't even fathom a flaw of Sarah's. But that's what love does. Love is blind.

But right now, he just wanted her to touch him. Just her hand stroking the side of his face was enough. No matter how defeated or flawed he was, Bucky knows now he can always come back to her.


End file.
